Stephanie Castillo

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RAND Says The Richest Americans Taking More Than We Thought

NEW RAND CORPORATION STUDY PROVES THE RICHEST AMERICANS ARE RAKING IT IN, INCLUDING OURS So wealth distribution.  Even if you don’t know the phrase, it impacts your life in huge ways.  Today, in America, people already know that they have less than they used to.  They definitely have less than their parents did.  And we […] More

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Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Dying Wish Was A New President to Replace Her

RUTH BADER GINSBURG HAS DIED, AND HER DYING WISH IS FOR ANYONE BUT TRUMP TO REPLACE HER So Ruth Bader Ginsburg has died.  The 87-year-old US Supreme Court Justice held onto life as long as she could.  But finally succumbed to pancreatic cancer on the eve of Rosh Hashanah.  In the Jewish tradition, one who […] More

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BATS!!!! Arizona Weather Radar Shows Huge Cloud of BATS!!!

ARIZONA WEATHER RADAR FINDS NOT CLOUDS, BUT BATS, BATS, BATS!!! Some people love bats.  But not many.  Most people think they’re totally disgusting, creepy and duck for cover at first sight.  My father was, and is, terrified of them.  A lot of people are.  A good friend loves him some Batman.  But a real bat […] More

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First in 175 Years! Scientific American Endorses Joe Biden Over Trump

FOR THE 1ST TIME IN 175 YEARS, SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN ENDORSES FOR POTUS So you’ve of course heard of Scientific American.  What, you haven’t?  Well, it’s been around for a long, long, time.  Just look at the words.  Scientific and American.  It’s a journal of science, and it’s all American.  And it’s never, ever been partisan, […] More

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Fundraiser To Make DildoDon a Permanent Art Installation

DILDODON IS A PORTRAIT OF TRUMP USING DILDOS AND BUTT PLUGS, REALLY! So what’s in a name?  If you think about it just a little bit, you will likely get some idea about what DildoDon means.  First, you have the word dildo.  You know what that is, even if you swear to your dying day […] More

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US Navy Squares Ban All Hemp Products, Including Shampoo

US NAVY BRASS SQUARES BAN HEMP PRODUCTS LIKE SHAMPOO AND MOISTURIZER?  WTF So what the hell?  Is the US Navy led by the ghost of Nancy Reagan?  Just say no, then go, to hell?  So what happened is, the US Navy just issued an official ban on pretty much everything that contains hemp or cannabidiol.  […] More

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Beguiling Bombshell Diana Rigg Passes Away From Cancer, Age 82

PENULTIMATE BOND GIRL, GAME OF THRONES MATRIARCH, ACTRESS DIANA RIGG PASSES AWAY So I really, really was a big fan of the beguiling Diana Rigg.  In sad news, she has passed away at the age of 82 years.  If you’re over 40, you definitely know her from her roles as THE Bond girl and Emma […] More

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Acetaminophen, aka Tylenol, Makes People Engage in Risky Behavior

ACETAMINOPHEN PILLS LIKE TYLENOL CAN MAKE YOU TAKE EXTRA RISKY CHOICES So this is crazy weird.  If you are one of those people who pops a lot of over the counter pain pills, pay attention.  Well, or if anyone you know does and seems a little bit too adventurous and likes risky fun.  A recent […] More

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Predator Alert! Tennessee Has a Tiger On the Loose Problem

PREDATOR ALERT!  AUTHORITIES ON THE HUNT FOR TIGER ON THE LOOSE IN TENNESSEE So I’m not sure that there are many predators as dangerous as the Tiger.  Big cats are all very powerful and dangerous.  But the tiger is BIG, and is an ambush predator.  So much so, that people who have to work in […] More

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Priests on Floating Tiki Bar Save Man From Lake George Drowning

MAN DROWNING IN LAKE GEORGE SAVED BY PRIESTS ON DRY, FLOATING TIKI BAR So I know a lot of people who’ve been to Lake George.  It’s supposed to be a blast, one of those classic summer escapes.  Maybe I’ll try a visit myself some time.  But I hope to avoid anything like this happening to […] More

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4 Foot Long Snake Slithered Down Woman’s Throat While She Slept

WOMAN IN RUSSIA GOES TO SLEEP, WAKES IN PAIN, DOCTORS FIND 4-FOOT-LONG SNAKE IN HER STOMACH, WHAT!? So what the hell?  I now have another thing to be afraid of?  And the list is long, believe me.  But the order will change, as this shit is so disturbing its Survey Says will put in in […] More

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The Batman Production Halts, As Batman Robert Pattinson Gets Covid

THE BATMAN FINALLY RESUMED PRODUCTION AFTER 6 MONTHS, PATTINSON GETS COVID AFTER 3 DAYS So it was really just about a week ago that we saw a teaser for the forthcoming, The Batman.  And, it looks pretty decent, what they were willing to show us to date.  It’s dark.  The designs look amazing.  Quire the […] More

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Covid and Election Year Angst Makes Demand Boom for Psychics

STRUGGLING WITH ANGST IN A PANDEMIC ELECTION YEAR, PEOPLE ARE TURNING TO PSYCHICS FOR ANSWERS Psychics are pretty weird.  I remember when there used to be psychic shows on TV, which were totally scripted.  But then again, what’s on TV these days that isn’t?  And the days of The Mentalist are long gone.  But people […] More

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Canadian Brewery Erred, Names Beer “Pubes” by Accident

CANADIAN BREWERY GAVE GREAT, LIGHT BEER THE NAME PUBES BY ACCIDENT Beer is great.  Sometimes, the calories aren’t so great.  But the beer?  Always great.  But we’re talking real beer here.  Not that stuff Budweiser, Coors, Busch Beer stuff.  Sure, they have their place.  Ice cold on a hot day when clean water is out […] More

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Porn Legend Ron Jeremy Faces 20 Sexual Assault Charges?

PORN STAR RON JEREMY HAS EVEN MORE SEXUAL CHARGES, NOW UP TO 20 So I don’t know if you know who Ron Jeremy is.  But if Avenue Q is right, you likely do.  Because the internet is for PORN.  I happen to know Ron Jeremy because of searching for videos of Christy Canyon.  Let’s just […] More

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Peanut Butter Breakfast Makes You Bedroom Wizard

PEANUT BUTTER FOR BREAKFAST INCREASES PASSION, MAKES YOU A BEDROOM WIZARD So I used to start most mornings with peanut butter toast.  Why?  Well, I liked peanut butter, for one.  And toast is nice and easy.  If you toast your bread just right, it’s a little crunchy.  And if you get the peanut butter on […] More

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New Covid Symptom Alert: Big Balls, Less Fertility in Men

ACHING, BIG BALLS THE LATEST COVID SYMPTOM, ALSO MAY KILL FERTILITY So here’s even more news to lose sleep over.  Covid, Coronavirus, whatever the hell you call it, has caused all sorts of scary symptoms all over the world.  Neurological damage, organ failure, exhaustion, loss of smell, chills, etc. etc. etc.  And now?  Well, we’ve […] More

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Switzerland Had Chocolate Rain After Factory Accident

BECAUSE OF A FACTORY ACCIDENT, A SWISS TOWN EXPERIENCED CHOCOLATE RAIN? So the world is a weird and wonderful place.  Sometimes it’s even kind of fun, like chocolate rain.  Well, in this case, so long as you don’t have to clean up.  This story comes from Olten, Switzerland.  There’s a chocolate factory there.  But no […] More

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Gun Fans Love Man Who Shot Himself in the Balls

GUN FANS REDEFINE GUN NUTS AFTER MAN SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE BALLS, BECOMES THEIR HERO So people who love guns can seem to be a little strange.  But some, fairly, call them gun nuts.  For a wide range of different reasons, no less.  But this wasn’t a reason I would ever have imagined.  And now, […] More

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So Exactly How Much is a Buttload, Really? It’s a Lot

HOW MUCH IS A BUTTLOAD?  WELL, THERE’S AN EXACT AND REAL ANSWER, IT’S A REAL WORD! So how much did that cost?  A Buttload?  Wow!  That’s a lot!  But how much, exactly?  It’s always just seemed to be… a lot.  But like so much with language, sometimes so much is just slang.  But sometimes it’s […] More

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Sneaky Burglars Steal 1 Million Yen From Ninja Museum

SNEAKY THIEVES STEAL OVER 1 MILLION YEN IN 3 MINUTES FROM NINJA MUSEUM So first off, there’s a ninja museum?  That’s really cool.  It is, of course, in Japan. In Iga city in the Mie prefecture, to be precise.  Because that’s where the Iga Ninja Clan originated.  It’s located in a remote forest area.  But […] More

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A New Beastmaster in the Works as Original Master Lost

REMEMBER THE BEASTMASTER?  ANOTHER IS ON THE WAY, BUT THE ORIGINAL MASTER REELS ARE LOST So with kids these days, they probably have never heard of the movie Beastmaster.  It came out in 1982 which is, looking back, a long ass time ago.  But way back then, if you were a kid like I was, […] More

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CDC Warns Stores, Don’t Confront Crazy Anti-Maskers

SAD DAY WHEN THE CDC HAS TO WARN STORES NOT TO CONFRONT ANTI-MASKERS So this is where we are?  Well, I suppose it is.  The RNC is happening right now, after all.  Historians will note it as the most deceit-filled celebration ever in American politics.  The Hatch Act?  Forget about it.  Racist?  You bet.  Anti-science?  […] More

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Michigan At Last to Pay Flint Survivors $600 Million For Poisoned Water

FLINT, MICHIGAN RESIDENTS START GETTING JUSTICE WITH $600 MILLION PAYOUT So this is new news about an old scandal.  Remember Flint, Michigan?  You know, the town that suffered an insane amount of lead poisoning from their water?  Well, it’s back in the news again.  But this time, it spells out some justice at long last.  […] More

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Florida to Release 750 Million Mosquitos to Combat…. Mosquitos

FLORIDA TO RELEASE 750 MILLION MOSQUITOS TO KILL DANGEROUS MOSQUITOS Mosquitos totally suck.  Literally.  And as it’s the summer season, you know exactly what I’m talking about.  Well, if you don’t live in an arid location, that is.  But mosquitos are all over the world, especially wet places like Florida.  Just think of all those […] More

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Empowered Women Post Topless Nature Colorado Pics

WOMEN TAKING TOPLESS PICS IN COLORADO NATURE, POSTING THIM IN CELEBRATION ON SOCIAL MEDIA So a lot of people don’t seem to be getting this.  Sure, the breast is still a controversial object.  But that’s just the thing.  It’s not an object.  But many can’t be objective about them.  But for many women, they are […] More

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As Season 4 of Stranger Things Wraps, Season 5 Confirmed!

CONFIRMED! STRANGER THINGS WILL DEFINITELY HAVE A SEASON 5 AS SEASON 4 WRAPS So we are inundated with media and shows like never before.  Does that dilute quality?  Maybe.  Definitely, when it comes to the news.  But some shows stand out as fantastic fun.  And if you’ve already watched any of Stranger Things, you know […] More

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Nepal Celebrates First Ever Rare, Godlike Gold Turtle

NEPAL FINDS THEIR FIRST EVER GOLD TURTLE, WHICH MANY WORSHIP AS A GOD So we all have to come out of our shells sometime.  And people in Nepal are certainly doing that in celebration.  But as this is all new to me, I’ll reasonably assume it is for you, too.  A gold turtle is a […] More

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Man Wraps Neighbor’s Car in Plastic for Stealing Parking Spot

BRILLIANT REVENGE PRANK AS MAN WRAPS CAR IN PLASTIC WRAP IN HIS PARKING SPOT So have you ever heard the saying, revenge is a dish best served cold?  It’s a good one, and it certainly has its place and time.  But how about wrapped revenge?  Now, I have to offer a disclaimer here.  I have […] More

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Dipshit Sues Online Date for $150,000 For Getting Herpes Kiss

DIPSHIT SUES ONLINE DATE FOR ALLEGEDLY GIVING HIM HERPES SIMPLEX COLD SORES I don’t like dipshits.  Even though this might have made me one, too.  What’s a dipshit?  Well, I’m about to explain that to you.  Because this is the perfect example of one.  His name is Martin Conway.  He’s a personal trainer and went […] More

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Yale Welcomes Back Students, Warns Then They Will Face Death

HONEST YALE ADMINISTRATOR WARNS STUDENTS THEY WILL FACE DEATH THIS FALL So I’ve got a friend whose kid is starting college this fall.  I’m so glad my own brood are still too young.  First, they lose out on their high school graduation and proms.  Then, they “go” to college in the fall?  With Coronavirus?  I’d […] More

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Canadian Province Recommends Glory Hole For Safe Covid Sex

WOW! BRITISH COLUMBIA SAYS A GLORY HOLE IS A GREAT, SAFE WAY FOR COVID ERA SEX! Canada sometimes feels so close, yet so far away.  I’m sure people who wanted to avoid the Viet Nam draft felt the same way.  But this time, it’s a virtual, cultural(?), dissonance.  So yes, the Covid pandemic has made […] More

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WTF? Husband Commits Suicide For No Sex, Police Arrest Wife?

POLICE ARREST WIFE AFTER HUSBAND COMMITS SUICIDE FOR NO SEX LIFE AT ALL Marriage can be challenging.  If you’re married, or ever have been, you know this is true.  It’s called life.  Well, married life.  But sometimes it’s more than a challenge.  Sometimes, it’s deadly, usually by murder.  But marital neglect has a big impact, […] More

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Buck Naked German Man Chases Wild Boar For Laptop Computer

WILD BOAR MOMMA MAKES OFF WITH LAPTOP BAG, BUCK NAKED GERMAN MAN RUNS IN PURSUIT So naturists are interesting people.  And it’s more popular than prudes like us Americans have any clue of.  Evidently, there’s a lot to experiencing the world buck naked.  I must say being naked in a hot tub next to the […] More

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BP Worker Wins Big After Downfall Nazi Parody Dismissal

DOWNFALL PARODY GETS BP WORKER FIRED, BUT HE WINS BIG, GETS THE LAST LAUGH So have you ever heard about the Downfall parodies?  No?  Well, Downfall is the name from a 2004 movie where there’s a now famous scene of Hitler losing his shit.  It really is quite the scene.  But so much so, that […] More

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The Bigger the Porn Diet, The Smaller the Erection

STUDY REVEALS THE TRUTH, YOUR BIG PORN DIET MAKES FOR ONE SMALL ERECTION Well, this comes as a complete surprise.  No, really.  And, well, I don’t mean that surprise in any particular personal way, either.  A new study has given up the goods on the bads that porn does down there.  It seems that the […] More

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New Video Shows Police Handcuff Special Needs 8-Year-Old Boy

POLICE ARREST 8-YEAR-OLD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS AFTER SUBSTITUTE TEACHER SCREWS THE POOCH So much to say here.  But outrage can’t fit onto the largest canvas, even here.  So this is new news on an old arrest.  In 2018, police arrested an 8-year-old boy with special needs.  Did he kill someone? No.  Did he have a […] More

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People Donating Their Hair to Clean Up Mauritius Oil Spill

LOCALS IN MAURITIUS USING HUMAN HAIR DONATIONS TO CLEAN UP MASSIVE OIL SPILL So this is interesting, if disappointing news.  There is a massive oil spill happening in Mauritius.  If you don’t know it, it’s in the Indian Ocean.  It has beautiful beaches, amazing fishing and protected wetlands.  And there’s a huge oil spill threatening […] More

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Terrified Mike Tyson Puts Shark to Sleep, Tickling Its Nose

BEFORE GOING BACK IN THE RING, MIKE TYSON GOES UNDERWATER TO PUT SHARK TO SLEEP WITH NOSE TICKLING So Mike Tyson is making a comeback.  You may have already heard that news.  Geriatric boxing is in vogue these days.  I must say, I’m kind of interested.  But also will be horrified if any of these […] More

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WTF? Tax Dollars Paying for Moderna Covid Vaccine, You’ll Then Buy

TRUMP FUNDING THE MODERNA VACCINE TO GET RE-ELECTED, AND WE’LL PAY FOR IT TWICE So everyone keeps talking about how we need a vaccine for Covid-19.  And, maybe we do.  Especially since the United States has dropped every ball that every motley fool has ever tried to juggle.  Maybe you just heard about that motorcycle […] More

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Trump Admin Warns Americans Away From New Zealand “Health Risks”

TRUMP ADMIN WARNS AMERICANS AWAY FROM NEW ZEALAND OVER NON-EXISTENT HEATLH RISKS So when you have a baby in his dotage as President of the United States, you can see some wacky, petty stuff.  And it certainly seems to be that way now.  Because when it comes to Donald Trump, there is no bar.  It’s […] More

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Meet Big Daddy, The Murderous Croc Reformed by Marriage

AFRICA’S OLDEST CROC WAS THE TANA TERROR BEFORE MARRIAGE, NOW HE’S THE BIG DADDY So I used to know a guy who referred to himself as Big Daddy.  He was fun to hang around with.  But I don’t think anything could happen where you would ever call him reformed.  Like, ever.  But marriage changes a […] More

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Georgia Principal Suspends Student For Posting Mask-less High School Crowd

GEORGIA STUDENT POSTS PIC EXPOSING MASK-LESS COVID NIGHTMARE SCENARIO, PRINCIPAL SUSPENDS HER So maybe you’ve already seen this photo?  It’s of a lot of students at the North Paulding High School in Dallas, Georgia.  Those students are packed into there, as you can see.  Most of the students are mask-less.  It’s just the first day […] More

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Leech Goes in Man’s Penis, Drinks A Liter of His Blood

HORROR STORY AS OLDER MAN GET LEECH IN HIS PENIS WHILE GOING FOR A SWIM IN CAMBODIA So my first reaction to this is, oh, hell no.  No way.  Ever.  I don’t even want to think about this.  But here goes.  You have heard all sorts of nightmare stories about things that can happen to […] More

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Hartford Sovereign Citizen Cuts Off Landlord’s Head When Told to Get Out

TENANT, SOVEREIGN CITIZEN, CUTS OFF LANDLORD’S HEAD WHEN TOLD TO GET OUT So have you ever heard the expression, that’s nothing to lose your head over?  Well, this is no different.  But, a different, literal, outcome.  Have you ever heard of the term, “sovereign citizen?”  No?  Well, someone who considers themselves a sovereign citizen believes […] More

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Cab Driver Serial Killer Fed 50 Bodies to Crocodiles, Sold Their Cars

SERIAL KILLER MURDERED OVER 100 CABBIES, FED THEIR BODIES TO CROCODILES So this is rather frightening, if you are a taxi driver.  Well, or maybe it’s just frightening, period.  A doctor in India had a side gig the likes of which you would never imagine.  He killed cab drivers.  Like, more than 50 cab drivers.  […] More

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UK Gov to Invest in Lady Friendly Sex-Party Company, Killing Kittens

UK INVESTS IN SEX-PARTY STARTUP, KILLING KITTENS, TO SURVIVE PANDEMIC MARKET So this is pretty interesting.  I remember the days when people on dating apps were kind of odd.  Maybe they were just desperate?  But that is ancient history now.  Everything is online these days.  Even services that help organize a sex-party for interested…. parties.  […] More

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Did Trump and Kodak Just Enjoy Insider Trading Via US Tax Dollars?

DID U.S. TAX DOLLARS FACILITATE INSIDER TRADING FOR KODAK WITH GOVERNMENT LOAN? So this stinks to high heaven all the way down to perdition’s flames.  The United States sometimes gives out loans to companies to facilitate the products to satisfy the public need.  And that’s totally fine.  The pandemic has created a LOT of need […] More

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Trump Doctor Believes in Demon Sperm, Alien DNA, Hydroxychloroquine

TRUMP NUT DOCTOR BELIEVES IN HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE, DEMON SPERM AND ALIEN DNA So no doubt you’ve heard the latest brouhaha about Donald Trump and his retweeting.  But of course it’s impossible to keep up with Trump on social media.  I mean, the guy tweets more than middle school kids, these days even!  But some Trump tweets […] More

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Vegan Health Nut Drinks Semen Shakes to Beat Back Covid

VEGAN BODYBUILDER SWEARS DRINKING SEMEN SHAKES IS PROTECTION FROM COVID So I’ve heard a lot of stories about the healing power of semen.  Well, especially for skin, anyway.  I’ve read a ton of testimonials about how good it is for a face.  A facial, if you prefer.  But I’ve even heard this from women in […] More

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Barcelona Seizes Apartments From Landlords Who Won’t Rent Them

BARCELONA ABOUT TO SEIZE EMPTY APARTMENTS FROM LANDLORDS FOR HALF MARKET VALUE So this is interesting.  I’m familiar with the term eminent domain.  That’s what happens when the government seizes property for necessary public use.  And I think that is dicey, as it often is used for profit more than the public interest.  But what’s […] More

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Who You Gonna Call? A Paranormal Helpline in India

INDIA HAS A PARANORMAL HELPLINE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE “SEEING” THINGS THEY CAN CALL So like all movies, we’ll have to wait a little longer for the new Ghostbusters movie to come out.  But, most of us don’t feel comfortable to come out, either.  Thanks a lot, Covid!  But some people are feeling the walls […] More

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Coronavirus Fails to Cancel Texas Testicle Festival 2020

COVID AIN’T CANCELLING THE TEXAS TESTICLE FESTIVAL IN THE PANDEMIC YEAR, 2020 So have you ever been to a ball?  Ok, cheap shot.  Or, maybe, it just came too early.  Premature…. Humor.  But yes, the title did not lie.  There is a Texas Testicle Festival in the year 2020.  And somehow, the Coronavirus failed to […] More

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Italian Cops Find Shipment of Coffee Beans Filled With Cocaine

ITALIAN POLICE INTERCEPT COCAINE IN COFFEE BEANS, THANKS TO MOVIE REFERENCES So Italian police made a pretty nice drug haul, thanks to some pulp knowledgeable officers.  They found a shipment of coffee beans with cocaine in them.  Pretty clever, really.  But this takes me back to Beverly Hills Cop.  The first one, of course.  As […] More

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26-Year-Old Russian Sexologist Found Dead on Bed, Naked

YOUNG, HOT RUSSIAN SEXOLOGIST FOUND DEAD, NAKED ON HOTEL ROOM BED So this is weird.  A sexologist and Russian celebrity is dead, and it’s a bit of a mystery.  Her name is Anna Ambartsumyan.  The young and married woman was quite well known, so police are sure to take the investigation pretty seriously.  You know, […] More

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Police Raid Sex Cult, Run By 77-Year-Old Called The Doctor

ITALIAN POLICE RAID SEX CULT RUN BY OLD MAN MEMBER CALLED THE DOCTOR So cults clearly exist all over the world.  And cults almost always involve sex as a power dynamic.  But a sex cult is all about the sex as a tool of power.  But this one has been around for some time without […] More

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Masked Thief Breaks Penal Code, Steals 40lb Dildo, Moby

IN LAS VEGASS, MASKED THIEF MAKES OFF WITH GIANT DILDO, MOBY So what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.  Except when it comes to a massive, 40lb dildo, anyway.  A masked thief made quite the heist this week, an over the shoulder dildo holder, in fact.  Come again, you ask?  No, it’s a fact.  The […] More

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Southampton Eatery Burns Epstein and Weinstein’s Regular Table

SOUTHAMPTON EATERY OWNER CONDUCTS EXORCISM ON REGULAR TABLE OF EPSTEIN AND WEINSTEIN So the Jeffrey Epstein and Harvey Weinstein scandals are still percolating.  But I expect we’ll hear more about Epstein in the coming months, assuming Ghislaine Maxwell lives long enough to spill the beans for a deal.  But both sexual predator fiends were major […] More

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Trump Sends in Feds, Grabbing People Off the Street in Portland

FEDERAL AGENTS ARE GRABBING PEOPLE OFF THE STREETS IN PORTLAND, OREGON So this is big, bad and dangerous news.  Earlier this week, things in Portland, Oregon got a LOT darker.  Yes, Portland is one of many cities where there are still protests happening as a result of George Floyd’s death at the hands of Minneapolis […] More

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Georgia Cops Respond to Body On Tracks, But It’s a Sex Doll

GEORGIA COPS RESPOND TO REPORT OF BODY NEAR TRAIN TRACKS, BUT IT’S A SEX DOLL So Georgia is a mess these days.  You may have heard the governor there banned any bans on face masks.  So it’s a dicey situation there.  But Georgia cops got taken for a ride earlier this week.  And last I […] More

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Bored With Covid Closeting? Visit Ramesses VI Tomb in 3D Virtual Tour

TRAPPED AT HOME BECAUSE COVID?  VISIT THE TOMB OF EGYPTIAN PHARAOH, RAMESSES VI So I’m lucky enough to still be working from home.  And yes, it has its challenges.  More than a few.  But some days, I just want to take a break from the realities I find with the walls and windows around me.  […] More

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Minneapolis Cops Used Drones to Spy on People on Nude Beach

MINNEAPOLIS COPS SEND IN DRONES TO SPY ON PEOPLE FOR BEING NUDE AT LOCAL BEACH So there’s a lot going on with the Minneapolis police in recent times.  Surely, you’ve heard.  And a lot of people want to defund the police department and start over from scratch.  And this story may increase that idea.  I […] More

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US Navy Finally Boasts First Black, Female Fighter Pilot Like, Ever

MADELINE SWEGLE JUST BECAME THE FIRST BLACK, FEMALE US NAVAL FIGHTER PILOT, EVER Her name is Madeline Swegle and she’s awesome.  Well, she’s now a major figure in American history, too.  As you can see, Madeline is black and a woman.  But she’s also now the very first fighter pilot in the US Navy, ever.  […] More

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Woman Divorces Husband, Then Marries Stepson, 20 Years Old

SHE MARRIES THE STEPSON SHE RAISED RIGHT AFTER DIVORCING HIS FATHER So the ick factor here is… extremely high.  Ick.  ICK.  But I can’t comment on true love, as it is the free range of poets and unrequited dreamers.  Well, and the Princess Bride, of course.  But some relationships simply mystify me.  Others, I find […] More

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Great White Sharks in New York & New Jersey Waters, More to Come

GREAT WHITE SHARKS ARE NEAR NEW YORK AND THE JERSEY SHORE, AND THEIR FRIENDS ARE COMING TOO So great white sharks have been around the Northeast before.  Shoot, they actually are here kind of all the time.  But we don’t tend to see them too much near beaches around New York City or the nearby […] More

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Police Hunting Local Homeless German Rambo in Black Forest

GERMAN RAMBO IS A REAL THING, WITH MANHUNT IN THE BLACK FOREST NEAR BORDER WITH FRANCE So how can this be happening?  I remember seeing the movie Rambo for the first time and it was quite the big deal.  Small town hick politics.  80’s continuing rejection of hippy culture.  And the incredibly awkward niches only […] More

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Damn Fool Michael Cohen Back in Jail, Skips House Arrest for UES Meal

MICHAEL COHEN, A DAMN FOOL, IS BACK IN PRISON FOR GOING TO A RESTAURANT NEAR HOME So Michael Cohen is back in the news.  How to you spell damn fool?  Well, sure, spoiler alert.  But what’s the new spelling for damn fool?  Michael Cohen.  Little Mikey was President Trump’s personal lawyer.  But Trump abandoned Cohen, […] More

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NBA in Orlando, A Bubble in An Exploding Bubble as Petrie Dish

NBA SEASON RESUMES AS BUBBLE IN EXPLODING BUBBLE, A PETRIE DISH FOR US TO WATCH So NBA fans already know.  The season is set to resume, and fairly soon.  Normally, the BVA season would have already ended by now, the post-season included.  But not this year.  This year, we’re all stuck in the Coronavirus pandemic, […] More

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Man Stole 126 Flip-Flops for Shoe Fetish Sex, Major Legal Flop

POLICE ARREST KINKY MAN WITH 126 PAIRS OF STOLEN FLIP-FLOPS HE USED FOR SEX So we all like getting jiggy with it.  And by that, I mean we all like getting it on, getting it off, etc.  Pretty much everyone needs sexual release.  But not everyone finds that release in quite the same ways.  And […] More

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What Was Up With That Giant Mosquito in Argentina?

MAN IN ARGENTINA POSTS PIC OF GIANT MOSQUITO HIS MOTHER LOST HER MIND OVER, WITH CAUSE So pardon me for being an in-season sorta guy.  But now that mosquitos are out and about all over the continental US, this shit just got real (well, from January).  I hate mosquitos.  Pretty much everyone hates mosquitos.  Combine […] More

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Presidential Heads Crumble in Virginia Field, Testament of Today

IN A TESTAMENT OF TODAY’S REALITY, 43 PRESIDENTIAL HEADS SLOWLY CRUMBLE IN A VIRGINIA FIELD So much is going wrong these days in the United States.  Just as we finally enter a phase of addressing our history of slavery, we also have a pandemic that reaches far into our future.  And speaking of the foundations […] More

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Will Ghislaine Maxwell Live to Tell All the Tales She Knows?

GHISLAINE MAXWELL HAS SOME TALES TO TELL, BUT WILL SHE LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO? Ghislaine Maxwell.  Her name is a pain to pronounce.  But that is nothing compared to the pain coming to many of the world’s rich and famous if she tells all the tales she knows.  Just think about it!  Ghislaine faces multiple […] More

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Doctor Declared Woman Dead, Then She Wakes Up in a Body Bag

DOCTOR DECLARES PARAGUAY WOMAN DEAD, BUT THEN SHE WAKES UP IN A BODY BAG AT FUNERAL HOME Her name was, and still remains, Gladys Rodriguez Duarte.  But why both?  Well, because she was dead, so remains is a pun.  Except, she wasn’t dead.  So her name remains the same.  But whatever, right?  Gladys is from […] More

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Berlin Wants to Ban Deodorant on Mass Transit, Because Covid

BERLIN OFFICIALS TO BAN WEARING DEODORANT ON MASS TRANSIT, BECAUSE COVID So this is definitely in the weird news category.  I’ve only been to Berlin once, years ago in the late 1990s.  It’s an amazing and interesting city.  But as someone who knows New York City pretty well, Berlin struck me as really, really big.  […] More

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Brilliant Western Soundtrack Composer Ennio Morricone Gone

BRILLIANT ENNIO MORRICONE, COMPOSER OF WESTERN MOVIES, PASSES AWAY AT 91 So you know Ennio Morricone.  Really, you do.  Have you ever seen a Spaghetti Western?  Clint Eastwood, hello?  Maybe Once Upon a Time in the West?  Or Once Upon a Time in America?  Yes, they were all directed by the amazing Sergio Leone.  But […] More

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Beer Binge With No Pee Makes Man’s Bladder Explode

MAN BINGE DRINKS BEER, PASSES OUT, DOESN’T PEE, AND HAD HIS BLADDER EXPLODE So remember that time that you had too much beer to drink?  And no, I’m not talking about the morning after.  You suddenly remember that you haven’t eaten any fiber for years?  But it doesn’t matter?  Well, no, that’s not what this […] More

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Topless British Woman Saves 3 People from Drowning in Cornwall

THREE WERE DROWNING IN CORNWALL, ENGLAND, THEN A TOPLESS WOMAN CAME TO SAVE THEM So I don’t know how else to say it.  But the kid in me would have been more than fascinated to see this.  As it is, the headline shouldn’t be an attention grabber.  But yet, it is.  Two sisters and their […] More

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Police Seize $1.2 Billion in Amphetamines, Biggest Drug Bust Ever

ITALIANS MAKE RECORD DRUG BUST, $1.2 BILLION IN AMPHETAMINES FROM SYRIA So it looks like we may need to revisit Miami Vice as a show in Salerno, Italy.  Because Sonny and Crockett never made a score like this.  No one has, till now.  But even though drug busts happen every day across the world, the […] More

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1792 Virginia Law Against Swearing Finally Repealed in 2020

VIRGINIA COMMONWEALTH LAW FROM 1792 AGAINST SWEARING FINALLY OFF THE BOOKS AT LAST So laws in the United States can be pretty damn weird.  As you know, different states have different laws on the books.  And some of them are old, outdated and maybe even outright stupid.  Every year, we hear about laws that state […] More

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Johnny Depp Ordered Drugs, So Was He A Domestic Abuser Too?

IF JOHNNY DEPP HID TEXTS ORDERING COCAINE AND ECSTASY, IS HE HIDING BEING A WIFE BEATER, TOO? So Johnny Depp is in the news again.  And no, it’s not about the next installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean series.  Though, I must say I’m excited to hear about a certain blond actress.  Anyway, Johnny […] More

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See the Face of Man’s Skull, Mounted on a Stake 8,000 Years Ago

WE CAN NOW SEE THE FACE OF A MAN WHOSE SKULL WAS ON A STAKE 8,000 YEARS AGO So this is kind of crazy.  There’s a saying about putting a face on things.  But this time, it’s a little mind blowing.  That man in the picture above was a real person, 8,000 years ago.  And […] More

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Swinger Sex Festival Won’t Happen, Because Coronavirus

CORONAVIRUS CANCELS HUGE SEX FESTIVAL FOR SWINGERS IN ENGLAND So I’m not part of the swinger scene.  Wait, what?  You don’t know what that is?  Let’s just say, you’re married.  But you swing.  So if you went to a swingers’ party, you’d be up for having sex with someone who’s not your spouse or partner.  […] More

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Poor Sap Buys Gorgeous Lamborghini, Crashes 20 Minutes Later

AFTER FALLING IN LOVE WITH NEW LAMBORGHINI, POOR SAP CRASHES CAR AFTER JUST 20 MINUTES So nice cars are, well, nice cars.  There’s nothing like the smell of a new car.  That’s why they sell it in a can.  But a luxury speedster?  I’ve never been in one as nice as a brand new Lamborghini.  […] More

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Coke Cock: Police Arrest Man Smuggling Cocaine in Fake Penis

IDIOT TRIES TO SMUGGLE COCAINE IN A FAKE PENIS, POLICE GIVE HIM A COKE COCK BLOCK So this, it seems, is a story about a real life coke cock block.  That’s right, a penis with cocaine inside of it.  Well, a fake penis, to be fair.  That would be one epic blow job, amirite?  So […] More

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Durian Fruit Strikes Again, Evacuating Post Office in Bavaria

POST OFFICE IN BAVARIA THE LATEST VICTIM OF THE DURIAN FRUIT, WITH PANIC AND EVACUATION So do you know the durian fruit?  It’s quite the little stinker.  And it’s caused havoc from time to time in a lot of places.  And now, we can add Bavaria to that list!  Well, Bavaria is in Germany.  Regardless, […] More

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Jaws Mayor is a Character All Over Covid United States

MAYOR CHARACTER FROM JAWS IS PRESENT ALL OVER THE UNITED STATES WITH COVID So have you ever seen the Movie, Jaws?  It was an early Spielberg flick with great actors and a scary ass prop, a great white shark terrorizing a northeastern island.  And that island, of course, had a mayor character.  But the reality […] More

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Neo-Nazi Satanist US Army Soldier to Attack Own Unit

US ARMY PRIATE WORKS WITH NEO-NAZI SATANIST GROUP TO ATTEMPT TERRORIST ATTACK ON HIS OWN UNIT So remember how we used to talk about how domestic terrorists were a real threat to the United States?  Well, it seems to still be true.  But this time, a member of a terrorist group was also a US […] More

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Global Warming Update: Siberia Sees 100 Degree Temps

TOWN IN SIBERIA SEES RECORD TEMPS, OVER 100 DEGREES, GULAG NOT SO DAMN COLD ANYMORE So global warming is still totally happening.  Sure, we’ve all got the Coronavirus reality these days, all over the world.  And here in the States, that looks to be true longer than we ever imagined.  But things like global warming […] More

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Secret Passageway Found at United Kingdom’s Parliament

ENGLAND DISCOVERS FORGOTTEN, SECRET PASSAGEWAY IN HOUSES OF PARLIAMENT History is crazy.  Sometimes not in a good way.  But sometimes, it’s kinda damn fun.  And this is definitely one of those times.  Pictured above is Lindsay Hoyle, the Speaker of the House in the UK.  And what is he doing in a wall?  Well, he’s […] More

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India Catches Supposed Spy Pigeon From Pakistan

INDIA CAPTURES SUPPOSED SPY PIGEON, INSTANTLY BLAMES PAKISTAN So where to begin?  This is a story about a spy pigeon.  Yes, a spy pigeon.  No, and we’re not talking about an ugly person.  A bird.  A flying rat, some say.  Pretty much the most common bird around most of the world.  The bane of Venice, […] More

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Get Nipple Rings for Better Sex, and Bigger Orgasms

NIPPLE RINGS CAN IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE, CREATE MUCH BIGGER ORGASMS THAN EVER BEFORE So I remember back when body piercings were seriously unusual.  Then, they became pretty much a casual sight.  But I’m still a little titillated when it comes to certain body parts with rings in them.  But nipple rings?  They’re not just […] More

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Whoops, Ford Bronco Schedules Release Date, O.J. Simpson’s Bday

NEW FORD BRONCO RELEASE DATE SET FOR JULY 9TH, O.J. SIMPSON’S BIRTHDAY So I never thought I’d be writing about O.J. Simpson.  Like, ever.  Even just thinking about him makes me mad.  Sure, he is likely a murderer and all that.  And that’s insurmountable.  But I’ll never forget how mad I was trying to watch […] More

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Vienna Police Fine Man For Farting at Them, With Intent

MAN FARTS AT MORE THAN GENERAL DIRECTION OF VIENNA POLICE, POLICE FINE MAN So much for policing being a breeze, especially these days.  So many things these days are silent, but deadly.  You know, the pandemic?  But recent news from across the Atlantic Ocean now include police in Vienna assessing a fine for less than […] More

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Temptation Gives 16 Friends Covid As Florida Lockdown Ends

16 FRIENDS GIVE IN TO TEMPTATION, HAVE A NIGHT OUT, NOW HAVE CORONAVIRUS So most major religions include themes about how to avoid temptation.  Or, rather, how important it is to avoid temptation.  And right now, we’re all suffering from temptation.  Coronavirus has upended our lives for months now.  And the weather is nicer.  The […] More

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Some Idiot Left $191,000 in Gold Bars on Swiss Train

SWISS AUTHORITIES CONFUSED AS SOMEONE LEFT $191,000 IN GOLD BARS ON A TRAIN Sometimes you feel like you totally missed the boat.  But this time, I feel like I missed the train.  Big time.  Because if I had been on this train, I just might have been the one to discover a bag with $191,000 […] More

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Penn. Woman Had Grandma’s Body in Freezer for Social Security Checks

GRANDMA IN FREEZER FOR 15 YEARS SO FAMILY COULD COLLECT SOCIAL SECURITY CHECKS So with all the political histrionics about how bad Social Security is, this is worse.  Sure, there is fraud on occasion.  But certain rightwing voices say it’s minorities and illegal immigrants.  So of course, there’s no there, there.  But when fraud happens, […] More

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John Cleese Wicked Pissed About Removal of Faulty Towers Removal

UKTV REMOVES FAULTY TOWERS EPISODE FOR RACIST LANGUAGE, JOHN CLEESE WICKED PISSED Oh, my.  That’s what my grandmother would say.  It was always an understatement about something so ridiculous, nothing else would be polite.  So about this little racist language situation of an old Faulty Towers episode?  Oh, my.  But the former Minister of Funny […] More

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Man on Train Dies, Absolutely No One Notices for Five Hours

MAN DIES ON ENGLISH TRAIN FROM HEART ATTACK, NO ONE NOTICES FOR FIVE HOURS So this is not the way anyone wants to go.  And no, we obviously don’t have any control of that sort of thing.  But this is not on my list for how I kick the bucket, fingers crossed.  A man in […] More

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Lady Boxer Tests Positive For Banned Substance From Having Sex

OLYMPIC HOPEFUL LADY BOXER TESTS POSITIVE FOR BANNED SUBSTANCES FROM HAVING SEX So her name is Ginny Fuchs.  She’s a lady and a boxer.  She’s also an Olympic hopeful who hopes to medal for the United States.  But her dream and commitment almost came to naught.  Why? She tested positive for a banned substance.  The […] More

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Trump’s Space Force Losing Trademark Fight With Space Force on Netflix

TRUMP’S U.S. SPACE FORCE LOSING TRADEMARK FIGHT WITH THE TV SHOW ON NETFLIX So it seems comedy trumps…. Um, Trump.  At least when it comes to a trademark fight over the very same name.  Now that’s funny.  Really, really funny.  S I haven’t watched too much of the show, Space Force quite yet.  But it’s […] More

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Galveston Texas Scene of Twerking, Topless Arrests

KIDS THESE DAYS JUST CAN’T HANDLE A PANDEMIC LIKE THEY USED TO, SO TWERKING TOPLESS ARRESTS ABOUND So this isn’t totally recent news.  But it is sadly funny all the same.  We’ve all seen footage from somewhere of people not practicing social distancing well,.  Or hell, at all for that matter.  But some of these […] More

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All-Inclusive Orgy Resort Sex Island Opens During Coronavirus

SEX ISLAND RESORT OFFERS PROSTITUTES, ORGIES, AND NO CONDOMS IN SIGHT So clearly hands get tired, especially in a pandemic.  But in most of the United States, it’s against the law to get personal help in resting your poor appendage.  So to speak.  In other words, prostitution is largely illegal everywhere in the US.  But […] More

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Because Trump , Americans Gargling Bleach, Misting With Disinfectant

THANKS DONALD TRUMP, YOUR “JOKE” HAS AMERICANS GARGLING BLEACH AND MISTING DISINFECTANTS So fear is the mind killer.  Well, one of them, anyway.  But it is an ageless truth that fear makes people do stupid, even crazy things.  And Coronavirus is no exception.  Indeed, Covid-19 has opened quite the number of Pandora’s Boxes of late.  […] More

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Feisty Grandma Jennie Stejna, 103, Beats Covid and Has a Bud Light

JENNIE STEJNA, 103 YEAR OLD GRANDMA, BEATS CORONAVIRUS AND CELEBRATES WITH A BUD LIGHT So Coronavirus is all about the numbers.  The younger you are, the better off you are.  Especially if you catch it.  If you smoke, those numbers are bad. If you have other health problems, bad.  Pretty much, you want to be […] More

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Because Black People Might Buy Guns, Walmart Finally Removes Them Nationally

WALMART REMOVES GUNS FROM ALL STORES NATIONALLY, JUST AS BLACK PEOPLE MAY BUY THEM So we’ve had how many mass shootings in the United States in the past several years?  Well, if you don’t know the answer, it’s because there have been far too many.  Like, it’s been epic.  But the essentially defunct NRA has […] More

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Psychedelic Toad Venom Ritual, Penis Candles, Porn Star and Murder

DON’T EVER SMOKE TOAD VENOM WITH A PORN STAR WHO MAKES PENIS CANDLES, EVER So do you remember that time that you took part in that mystic ritual involving psychedelic toad venom, a porn star and penis candles?  Surely not.  Because if you could, you’d still be scarred.  So you forgot to protect yourself.  But […] More

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Final U.S. Civil War Pensioner Passes Away at Age 90

THE LAST U.S. CIVIL WAR PENSION RECIPIENT JUST PASSED AWAY AT THE AGE OF 90 Her name is Irene Triplett and she was the last person alive directly connected to the Civil War.  She just passed away.  And no, she wasn’t alive during during the war, of course.  But she was the very last person […] More

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Pre-Christian Israelites Smoked Cannabis in Ancient Temples

ANCIENT ISRAELITES SMOKED CANNABIS IN 2,700 YEAR OLD TEMPLE, RESEARCHERS PROVE So cannabis keeps coming up in the news.  It’s becoming increasingly legal across America.  Pot itself in classic joints, vapes of all flavors and varieties, you name it.  But  we also keep learning more and more how much humans have used cannabis over the […] More

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After 75 Day Vermont Retreat, Man Asks, Did I Miss Anything?

MAN TAKES 75 DAY RETREAT IN VERMONT, RETURNS TO THE WORLD AND ASKS IF HE MISSED ANYTHING Wow.  This is amazing.  I bet this guy felt like the groundhog and wanted to run back to shelter.  So he’s 33 years old and his name is Daniel Thorson.  Back in March, he checked into a silent […] More

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Pat Robertson (!) Slams Trump, Calls for Minnesota Justice

PAT ROBERTSON SLAMS TRUMP, CALLS FOR JUSTICE IN MINNESOTA, TO GET DISTANCE FROM SINKING PREZ? So I don’t like Pat Robertson.  Actually, I dislike him a lot.  With reason.  So I don’t know if a stopped clock is right twice a day or not here.  Maybe, what’s happening in the United States since the police […] More

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New Covid-Safe Desk Design Could Face Serious Criticism

SMART COVID-SAFE DESK DESIGN COULD HAVE PROBLEMS, LOOKS LIKE SWASTIKA Wow.  I’m guessing this is a cultural blind spot.  Because any other explanation deserves serious criticism and no forgiveness whatsoever.  All you have to do is look a the picture.  There just might be a small problem with the design.  What, you don’t see it?  […] More

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Flying Turtle Smashes Thru Car Windshield, Doesn’t Make It

FLYING TURTLE SMASHES THRU CAR’S WINDSHIELD ON SAVANNAH, GEORGIA HIGHWAY Usually, you want to see the disclaimer that no animals were hurt.  But this isn’t one of those times.  I mean we’re talking about a flying turtle.  Yes, a flying turtle.  In Savannah, Georgia, no less.  A resident and her brother were driving north on […] More

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WTF?! LG Poland Goes Upskirt in Latest Cell Phone Ad

HOW THE HELL COULD LG POLAND POST AN AD TOUTING IT’S CELL PHONE AS AN UPSKIRT DEVICE? So sometimes people in advertising make some bad calls.  But this kind of takes it to a totally new level.  Someone working for LG Poland put together an ad touting how good their new phone is to take […] More

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To Become Spiderman, 3 Bolivian Brothers Have Black Widow Bite Them

3 BOLIVIAN BROTHERS THOUGHT A BLACK WIDOW BITE WOULD TURN THEM INTO SPIDERMAN So I vaguely remember being a kid and seeing anxious adults looking on.  Some adults were so afraid of imaginations, we couldn’t play make believe in front of them.  Too dangerous!  And while I don’t recall what the game was, it was […] More

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Florida Home Doormat Says Get a Warrant, Police Oblige

DRUG DEALERS PUT DOORMAT THAT SAYS, COME BACK WITH A WARRANT, POLICE OBLIGE So Florida continues to be the funniest news generator anywhere.  Seriously.  This time, it comes from Flagler County.  The Sheriff’s Office there received some very helpful advice from a local house.  Sure, police get tips all the time.  They help quite a […] More

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NC Supreme Court Finally Says Middle Finger Not Probable Cause

MIDDLE FINGER TO A NC TROOPER TAKES 3 YEARS, SUPREME COURT TO RESOLVE So I really wish this surprised me.  But… no.  So I do understand policing is hard work.  It’s dangerous.  Many people automatically don’t like you.  I’ve certainly felt that way sometimes. And I have a lot of friends who are or were […] More

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Robbery Case Solved by 6-Year-Old Magnet Fishing, Sunken Lake Safe

LITTLE BOY MAGNET FISHING HAULS IN SUNKEN SAFE FROM COLD CASE ROBBERY So sometimes police need a little help solving their cases.  But as we all know, a lot of cases never close.  And when it comes to robberies, even if they catch the thieves, the items they stole disappear forever.  But not this time!  […] More

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Freaky! New Lickable Device Lets You Taste Any Flavor

JAPANESE INVENTOR CREATES LICKABLE DEVICE THAT DELIVERS VIRTUALLY ANY FLAVOR So technology continues to surprise!  I remember seeing Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and that movie delivered some serious fantasy for adults and children alike.  But one particular item in that film that still amazed is the everlasting gobstopper.  Well, and maybe the lickable […] More

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Crazy! Science Proves Penguin Poo is Chock Full of Laughing Gas

NO, REALLY, PENGUIN POO EMITS A SHIT LOAD OF LAUGHING GAS! Sigh.  penguin poo?  So penguins make me laugh.  They’re funny!  If you don’t think so, you haven’t seen them in action.  They are full of antics.  They wobble around on land and are ridiculously cute.  But as clumsy as they are on land, they […] More

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Livestream This Year’s Summer Solstice At the Ancient Stonehenge

YOU CAN LIVESTREAM THIS YEAR’S SUMMER SOLSTICE IN ENGLAND FROM ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD Summer Solstice is right around the corner.  Wait, what?  You don’t know what that is?  It’s the longest day of the year.  In other words, the sun rises at the earliest time, and sets at the latest.  It’s the opposite of […] More

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Florida Official Removed For Refusing to Censor Coronavirus Numbers

FLORIDA’S CORONAVIRUS DASHBOARD MANAGER FIRED FOR REFUSING TO CENSOR OUTBREAK NUMBERS So color me surprised.  Not.  A Florida official just lost their job.  Why?  Because they refused to censor the real numbers of people infected with Covid-19.  Really.  The fired official was Rebekah Jones.  She was the data scientist who managed the virtual, public “dashboard” […] More

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Man Knocked Up Step-Daughter, 14, When Partner Went to Hospital

PIECE OF HUMAN TRASH KNOCKED UP 14-YEAR-OLD STEP-DAUGHTER WHEN PARTNER TOOK THEIR SICK BABY TO HOSPITAL So human trash exists everywhere.  This time, it’s in Leicester, England.  A woman took her sick baby to the hospital for treatment.  But while she was there with the sick baby, something horrible happened.  Her partner and the father […] More

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Cruise Ghost Ship Horror, Infested With Cannibal Rats

MYSTERY, AS RUSSIAN CRUISE SHIP FILLED WITH CANNIBAL RATS MAY STILL BE OUT THERE So here’s some more cruise ship news in the era of Coronavirus.  No, it didn’t happen recently.  But that’s just part of the story.  The cruise ship had the name MV Lyubov Orlova.  So if that sounds Russian, that’s because it […] More

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8-Week-Old Baby Lula Watches Strongman Vids, Stands

LULA IS A POWER CHILD, WATCHES STRONGMAN VIDS ON YOUTUBE AT 8 WEEKS, STANDS FOR FIRST TIME! So media is a powerful thing.  This proves it!  Sure, we’re all fully immersed in propaganda these days.  How else can you explain how reality doesn’t seem to have a wide audience?  And media simply doesn’t help all […] More

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Blow-Up Dolls Enforce Social Distancing in South Carolina Restaurant

REOPENED RESTAURANT, OPEN HEARTH, USES BLOW UP DOLLS TO ENFORCE SOCIAL DISTANCING So I’ve heard about all sorts of strange things when it comes to enforcement.  Weapons, communications, tools, barriers, sonic devices, barf devices, you name it.  But blow up dolls?  Nah, they have nothing to do with enforcement.  Till, now, anyways.  A restaurant in […] More

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Apple to Begin Reopening Stores in US, Canada at Last

AFTER 2 MONTHS, APPLE FINALLY REOPENING SOME STORES IN US AND CANADA So I’m actually surprised it took this long.  Reopening.  Apple certainly isn’t what I would call a necessary thing to have open, like a supermarket or health clinic.  But I’ve remained intensely surprised at how the stores have simply been totally… closed.  Like, […] More

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Brian May, Aging Queen Rock Star, Tears Ass While Gardening

QUEEN ROCK STAR GUITARIST BRIAN MAY TEARS HIS OWN ASS JUST BY GARDENING So I like the band, Queen.  They rocked and clearly still do.  But aging ain’t easy on anybody, which I am slowly learning myself.  But this wasn’t one of the things I thought I had to worry myself with.  Tearing my ass.  […] More

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What, Coronavirus Can Cause Psychosis, Too? What’s Next?

SO THANKS TO CORONAVIRUS, PSYCHOSIS IS ALSO ON THE RISE, BUT DON’T STRESS TOO MUCH ABOUT IT So I’m at a loss to figure out how to understand what this really means.  Coronavirus, if nothing else, has caused a degree of confusion that would stagger a bronze statue.  And no, I’m not referring to the […] More

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Young Jogger Gets Collapsed Lung from Wearing Coronavirus Mask

YOUNG JOGGER RESPONSIBLY WEARS MASK, SUFFER COLLAPSED LUNG AFTER 2.5 MILES Jeez, a collapsed lung?  So this lockdown is just rough.  And social distancing?  It’s mostly challenging because of all the assholes who refuse to take it seriously.  But we all still need to exercise, especially outside.  This is wearing on everybody.  So what’s the […] More

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Clever Boston Cop Plays Mating Call to Lure Escaped Peacock

CLEVER BOSTON COP USED MATING CALL TO LURE ESCAPED PEACOCK BACK INTO PROTECTIVE CUSTODY A mating call in Boston?  So this kind of makes me miss Boston.  But with the lockdown, I’m sure people living in Boston also miss Boston these days.  Shoot, I miss just walking down the sidewalk without the extra stress.  But […] More

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Perfect, Campy Space Opera Flash Gordon Releasing in 4K Resolution

PERFECT CAMPY SPACE OPERA, FLASH GORDON, SOON COMING IN FULL 4K So one of the greatest movies of all time is about to come out, again.  And we’re talking about Flash Gordon, of course.  If you’re under anything close to a ripe age, you may have no idea about this movie.  But there’s no excuse now.  […] More

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Louisiana Police Hunting Aggressive Chicken, But is On the Lamb

AGGRESSIVE CHICKEN TERRORIZES LOUISIANA BANK CUSTOMERS, BUT IT’S ON THE LAMB So the pandemic situation is hard on all of our public service people on the front line.  I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be a nurse, fireman or a cop.  But it must be a surreal job as a cop, to have […] More

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Moon Mining? The Trump Administration is Negotiating That

THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION LOOKS TO CREATE ACCORD AGREEMENT FOR MOON MINING So nothing is sacred in our current political reality.  But by reality, I mean the un-reality of the Trump Administration.  With the Coronavirus Pandemic, it sure seems like we may be missing the bigger picture.  How?  Well, how about deregulating Clean Air?  Done.  Mercury […] More

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What?! Michael Jordan Could Have Played With Nowitzki?

MARK CUBAN TRIED TO CONVINCE MICHAEL JORDAN TO SIGN WITH MAVERICKS AT LAST MINUTE So we likely won’t ever hear enough about this.  And not in any real way from Michael Jordan directly.  But we’re now hearing that Mark Cuban tried an 11th hour push to sign Michael Jordan to the Dallas Mavericks when he […] More

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Asshat Republican Mitch Daniels Tries to Shield Right From Coronavirus Criticism

ASSHAT, REPUBLICAN, MITCH DANIELS WANTS TO AVOID ANY PARTY ACCOUNTABILITY AFTER CORONAVIRUS So it’s election season, 2020.  But it’s also a pandemic year, the first in over a Century.  All Americans are in various degrees of Lockdown.  We’re upset, anxious, furious and frustrated.  But only those sipping on rightwing snake oil are avoiding the biggest […] More

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These T1 Smart Glasses Will Show Authorities if You Have a Fever

NEW T1 SMART GLASSES WILL SHOW WEARER IF YOU, OR ANYONE AT ALL, HAS A FEVER So we thought things were already crazy with all this Coronavirus crap.  You know, how the weird, dark and scary future had already arrived?  Well, here’s some more to be aware of.  There are T1 smart glasses that already […] More

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Murder Hornets in the US, Killing Bees, Maybe People

NOW THE UNITED STATES HAS MURDER HORNETS THAT MURDER BEES AND CAN KILL PEOPLE So much for any good news during the Coronavirus Pandemic.  Now, once we finally get outside again, we have something else to worry about.  And yes, it’s a new invasive species.  It has a terrible name and a truly frightening size.  […] More

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Pandemic Lockdown Kills Sex Drive, Condom Sales Also Down

WORLD SEX DRIVE IS DOWN FROM CORONAVIRUS LOCKDOWN DEPRESSION, NO ONE BUYING CONDOMS So it’s hard to feel up with this Coronavirus pandemic lockdown business.  People are afraid, depressed and anxious.  All of that is more than enough to kill people’s sex drives.  And, well, here we are.  Just a few weeks ago, people joked […] More

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Phoebe Waller-Bridge Enjoys Lockdown With Wall of Plaster Penises

I’LL SEE YOU AND RAISE AGAIN, PHOEBE WALLER-BRIDGE SURVIVES LOCKDOWN WITH WALL OF PLASTER PENISES Plaster penises?  So this lockdown situation is hard on everybody, and I do mean hard.  Some of us are barely coping.  But we try to make do with what we can.  Sometimes, we have to make a seriously conscious effort […] More

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Lockdown Murder Horror, Police Find Man Dismembering Wife

LOCKDOWN MURDER LEAVES VICTIM’S FAMILY DEVASTATED, POLICE FIND HUSBAND DISMEMBERING HER BODY So the lockdown isn’t stopping murder, no sirree.  In fact, domestic abuse problems are only worse, as you can imagine.  But pretty much everyone is getting cabin fever these days.  And cabin fever can make people do terrible things to themselves and especially […] More

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Lockdown With No Pants, ABC News Reporter Flashes Viewers

ABC NEWS REPORTER REPORTS FROM HOME, FORGETS TO WEAR PANTS FOR TV SEGMENT So I don’t know if we’ve all been there.  Well, we ARE all there, right no.  If we’re lucky, we’re working from home during this epic Coronavirus lockdown.  Sure, it is full of challenges.  Video meetings, Zoom bombs, family distractions and, of […] More

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Owner of One Fatte’s Pizza Robs Another at Gunpoint

WHY DID THE OWNER OF ONE FATTE’S PIZZA ROB ANOTHER LOCATION, AT GUNPOINT? So I’ve never heard of Fatte’s Pizza before in my life.  But now, I’ll clearly never forget it.  Sure, I know all about New York pizza, and thus I’m an expert.  Well, on Neapolitan, anyway.  But California pizza?  Sure, I know it […] More

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Bowling Green, Kentucky Mayor Finds Woman Living in His Cellar?

FORMER COP, CURRENT MAYOR  OF BOWLING GREEN, KENTUCKY FINDS WOMAN LIVING IN HIS CELLAR There’s so much crazy news out there these days.  And now, we’ve go a kooky one involving the Kentucky mayor of Bowling Green, Bruce Wilkerson.  First off, Wilkerson looks like an aging gay porn star.  I mean, really.  But anyway, the […] More

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Acapulco Waters Light Up for First Time in 60 Years

ACAPULCO BEACH SEES GLOWING BIOLUMINESCENT WATERS FOR FIRST TIME IN 6 DECADES So I’m jonesing something fierce for some nice beach time.  Like everyone else, I’m in Coronavirus lockdown.  So no, I don’t live in Georgia.  But seeing these pictures just makes me hope all the more that we can go to the beach, pretty […] More

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Hero Volunteers Live 28 Days in Factory to Make PPE Supplies

HERO VOLUNTEERS WORK 12-HOUR SHIFTS, LIVE IN FACTORY FOR 28 DAYS TO FIGHT CORONAVIRUS So I wish we hear about more volunteer heroes like these people in Pennsylvania.  43 people made the choice to live and work in a factory for 28 days straight to produce tens of millions of pounds of the raw materials […] More

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Breast Implants Save Woman’s Life From Bullet Aimed at Heart

BREAST IMPLANTS, YES, FAKE BOOBS, SAVE WOMAN FROM BULLET TO THE HEART So I’ve never been much of a fan of breast implants, myself.  There’s something about fake boobs that just doesn’t do it for me.  Call me old fashioned.  But they give me the heebie jeebies.  And yet now I may have a sudden […] More

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Whisky is The Real Holy Water, According to Pope Francis

POPE FRANCIS RECEIVES GIFT OF SINGLE MALT WHISKY, SAYS “THIS IS THE REAL HOLY WATER” So I kind of like Pope Francis.  I mean, it’s hard not to, considering what we’ve had the last several decades.  And Ratzinger?  Don’t even get me started.  But Pope Francis seems to be way, way, more modern than anyone […] More

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Actor Brian Dennehy Passes Away at 81, Already Missed by Costars

BRIAN DENNEHY PASSES AWAY AT THE AGE OF 81, LEAVING BEHIND WIFE, 5 CHILDREN Well, dang.  I really liked Brian Dennehy.  I’m in my 40’s.  So the first movie I ever saw him in was Rambo: First Blood.  Sure, he was pretty much the bad guy who represented a bunch of awkward things which now […] More

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Flies Humping for 41 Million Years in Pornographic Amber

HUMPING FLIES ENDED IN STYLE 41 MILLION YEARS AGO IN AMBER So we all want to be immortalized.  Somehow.  But I’m not sure this is what any of us should be aiming for?  I mean, it’s cool.  And pretty unique.  But if I’m ever caught in flagrante, I’d rather be alive.  Shoot, I’d be happy […] More

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Oops, Fighter Jet Passenger Ejected by Accident in France

DEFENSE CONTRACTOR ACCIDENTALLY SELF EJECTED FROM FIGHTER JET IN FRANCE So I’m not sure how I missed this little nugget when it happened.  Maybe it had something to do with all the Coronavirus coverage?  But we need these little silly stories, especially when they are not bad news.  Just… silly news.  But keep this in […] More

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Trump Administration Wants to Mine Uranium Near Grand Canyon, End Ban

TRUMP ADMINISTRATION WANTS TO MINE FOR URANIUM AT THE GRAND CANYON DURING PANDEMIC So you may have heard.  Well, maybe not.  But Germany is making climate change, and how they produce clean energy, a top priority.  So why?  Because of the Coronavirus pandemic.  But why?  Because this pandemic is giving anyone with an ounce of […] More

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Play the NASA Video Game for You to Save Coral Reefs!

NASA MADE A VIDEO GAME FOR YOU TO PLAY THAT WILL HELP SAVE THE WORLD’S CORAL REEFS NASA may not have the best federal leadership these days.  But they’re still doing some good and important work.  Sure, we’re gonna go to the moon again.  Supposedly.  But we’ve got lots of work to do right here […] More

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Val Kilmer Has New Memoir, Says No Girlfriend For 20 Years!

UNBELIEVABLE, NO GIRLFRIEND FOR 20 YEARS! SAYS VAL KILMER IN NEW MEMOIR So I love me some Val Kilmer.  He’s one of those great stars who has done some incredibly varied work.  The first thing I ever saw him in was the 80’s classic, Real Genius.  If you don’t know it, check it out.  It’s […] More

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