THIS MEDIEVAL NUN FAKED HER OWN DEATH AND ESCAPED HER CONVENT IN THE 14TH CENTURY
So I just don’t get it. Nuns, I mean. I did five years in Catholic school and yes, that does sound like I did time. But that’s because I did. Time. Inside. A Catholic school. Just ask George Carlin. Anyway, nuns mystify me. Sure, I totally understand the idea of total commitment to God and dedication, blah blah. But marrying God? Always being second fiddle in a patriarchy where WOMAN bit the apple? Not so much. And now I hear about this medieval nun, Joan of Leeds. She faked her own death to escape her convent to chase after a life of carnal lust.
SHE MADE A DUMMY “DEAD” VERSION OF HERSELF, FOOLING THE CATHOLIC CHURCH
So sure, that last part is what the men recorded after she was gone. But if I don’t get nuns today, I certainly don’t get them in the 14th Century. That’s when the presumably rebellious Joan faked her death to escape St. Clement’s Nunnery in Yorke, England. This whole story recently came to light thanks to archivists at the University of York. Thy were working on the translation and digitization of York’s archbishops’ annals of (then) current events from 1304 and 1305. That’s how they came across the accounts of Joan and her escape. She even made a “dummy” that looked like her. She put it among a number of corpses and then ran away.
ARCHBISHOP LABELED HER A WHORE AFTER SHE MADE HIM LOOK THE FOOL
So how did the church authorities react to this? Well, Archbishop Melton wrote a note that made clear Joan was “seduced by indecency” which made her escape to “pursue carnal lust.” Archbishop dipshit wrote that in the year 1318. But he also wrote, “She now wanders at large to the notorious peril to her soul and to the scandal of all of her order.” Well, maybe. But maybe she fooled you into burying a dummy. And then you found out she went thru a nearby town. So then you know she made you look the fool.