A Martyr. One Woman's Challenge: 40 ORGASMS IN 40 DAYS

ORGASAMS, THEY FEEL AMAZING, DON’T THEY?

Ah. Orgasms, that’s where I derive most of life’s pleasures from. Don’t you agree? However you achieve them, the feel amazing, right? As I get older, I find myself wanting more and more of them. So last month I decided to try a little experiment and have at least one orgasm every day for 40 days. Not really spontaneous, but hopefully erotic, educational, and full of pleasure.

THE AFTERMATH- MY CLITORIS HAS BEEN THROUGH IT ALL

Having now come out the other side of my enforced daily pleasure, this is what I learnt about love, the libido, women, sexuality and giant vibrators that look like a big purple rabbit. At the tender age of 45, I discovered I need foreplay with myself! For real, I had to recalibrate the expectations I have of my own clitoris. But then I wondered, what does foreplay with me even look like? Sweet nothings in my own ear? Fantasies?

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THE 40 ORGASMS CHALLENGE HAD TO INCLUDE FOREPLAY

Midway through my “challenge” I learnt that foreplay must be an inside job. It doesn’t live and die on marathon foot rubs by George Clooney or picturing scantily clad young bucks with oiled-up abs. All pretty pictures, absolutely, but I realized the most titillating thing for me was permission. When I allowed myself to relax and turn off the crap-o-meter, breathing slowed down, thoughts followed suit and then and only then was George welcome to show up for the foot massage.

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THE CHALLENGE ALMOST DEFEATED ME

Twelve days in and my libido went limp. Seeking out pleasure felt like a chore. All I could think of was must I have another orgasm?! I’ve had enough already. In my pursuit of pleasure I often forgot one thing to relax. At night, desperate for sleep, thoughts of “have” plagued me … I’m tired but, I have to get my orgasm. There’s no pussy footing around the fact; the 21st Century has taken our urges hostage and none of us seem to put up much of a fight. We need to create time for intimacy and alter our mindsets so we aren’t so vulnerable to distractions and excuses like “I’ll just watch another hour of reality TV”.

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ORGASMS ARE LIKE SOUP, THEY ARE FOR EVERYONE, JUST NOT EVERYDAY

I thought other women would rejoice in this challenge and rush home eager to kick off their own journeys. But dare I say, it was different strokes for different folks. Shock and support jostled for space with awe and a very fat white elephant in the room. After revealing the source of my new “glow” to a bunch of 40-something female colleagues, smiles froze over and quinoa suddenly seemed more interesting than my climaxing. These Women out here, don’t know a good thing when they see it. Try the 40 orgasams in 40 day challenge.