A WORLD WITH NO CHOCOLATE IS BULL$H!T
Who kills chocolate? Evidently, we do. But a world without chocolate is like a world without hope. Yet cacao may be doomed. Fungi, viruses and manmade climate change are the cause. But several people are working to help. The way to peace is chocolate, don’t you know? And we gotta keep the peace, in a big way.
MANMADE CLIMATE CHANGE, FUNGI (NOT JIM, THE FUN GUY) AND VIRUSES
So I realized that there is something deeply and disturbingly wrong with the world recently. Deeply disturbing and wrong. So what would life be like without chocolate? I bet you can’t answer that. I can’t. So I won’t. I cannot believe that cacao plants would not exist. I cannot believe that chocolate would not be available when I needed it. But it’s there. Always. For me. For us. It’s for humanity. The way towards peace is chocolate. Period. Did you know that? Now you know. So do you know how much chocolate I ate today? Too much. Seriously. Well…it may be over. I punch viruses, fungi and human-caused climate change in the vagina.
I HOPE I’M DEAD IN 2050 IF THIS IS TRUE
So the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) reported some awful stuff. And according to these bad asses, there is a strong possibility that by 2050, cacao plants will not be in a good place. What the hell? So we basically need to replant and replenish cacao seed and other rain forest species. But some people are working hard to help.
ALTERING DNA OF PLANTS TO HELP?
So Mars Inc, which is the company that produces candy like Snickers and M&Ms – is actually working hard to help. Manmade climate change, fungi (wish it was the guy next door), and viruses are the main reasons for chocolate (sniff, sniff) slowly finding its grave. But Mars Inc, has hired the Innovative Genomics Institute to use a gene-editing tool to help the grave cookie cacao situation. So they are basically using these technologies to alter the DNA in cacao plants so that they become more resistant to disease.
WHO KILLS CHOCOLATE? WE DO & IT’S GOTTA CHANGE
But we are all hoping that this project won’t only help cacao crops but help all other sorts of crops hit with fungi, viruses and human-caused climate change. Let’s kick this in the butt. But I’m pretty sure agave is threatened, too! Can you imagine? No chocolate and no tequila? That’s not a pretty world vision.