Man Went Bananas by Onions, Goes Apesh*t on Staff

WITNESSES REFUSE TO COMMENT ON ONIONS IN ONIONS SOUP

And you thought hanger was an innocent malady. Recently in Pittsburgh a man discovered onions in his food, went bananas and threatened to put a bullet in the restaurant owner. Usually onions only make you cry, but this guy went ape, over onions.

ANGRY DRUNK, ONION TERRORIST?

One Yuba Sharma was arrested the other night outside of All India restaurant after officers responded to a call about a man described as “drunk and angry.” Restaurant owner Ravinder Singh described to police that the suspect showed up that night in the evening in a drunken rage. He was still off his rocker that staff had put onions in his meal the evening before, as reported in local Pittsburgh news.

SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND

Investigators say the 43-year-old Sharma was asked multiple times to leave, but refused. Instead, he reached for his pants pocket while allegedly threatening to shoot the owner, according to local network news. That’s when police were called to the scene. Before the police arrived, Sharma allegedly pulled down his pants and exposed himself to the owner and a restaurant employee. No one commented on his banana, or onions, a peel. But the flash was spot on.

EGGPLANT FLEES THE SCENE, TALKS OF SICILY

Initially, the owner didn’t want to pursue charges, but changed his mind, telling police that he “no longer felt safe in his restaurant,” according to local reports. Police described Sharma as being so drunk he was speaking “nonsense,” according to the station. He allegedly told an officer that he was arguing with staff “because they put onions in his food.” Who know what would have happened had it been something more esoteric, like, say garlic.

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HANGER, OR JUST MISUNDERSTOOD ONION ALLIUMPHOBE?

Police said Sharma physically resisted being placed in the back seat of the cruiser. Sharma, 43, is currently being held in the Allegheny County Jail on charges of terroristic threats, indecent exposure, public drunkenness and resisting arrest, according to the Associated Press. It would seem that the layers of this onion only got uglier and uglier. But when you cut into an onion, tears are close on the horizon.