How to Maintain Healthy Friendships

How to Maintain Healthy Friendships


I know, you are busy. Life is filled with work, relationship, finding time to eat. But if you are constantly backing out of plans with “I’m too busy,” your priorities need a makeover. Loneliness is one of the leading causes of death in America. People retreat into the easy parts of their lives and give up on the connections they made with friends when they were still young and still had some “free” time. But if we are going to live long and live well, we absolutely have to prioritize our healthy friendships. We can’t take them for granted, we can’t mistreat them. So here are some ways to maintain those strong connections with your most treasured friends.


  1. If you can’t hang out regularly, send specific, thoughtful messages every once in a while. No “You’re in my thoughts” bullshit, but a real question about something specific you are curious about. “Are you back from your vacation? How was it?” or “Is that a new boyfriend in your profile pic?? SPILL.” You know, stuff like that.
  2. If you hardly ever get to see your good friends because they live far away from you, make the effort to go see them or to meet up with them for important occasions. Fly to the wedding, show up to the baby shower. Just show up. This is a big way to show your friends that even though you don’t get to see them very often, you care deeply about your friendship.

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3. If your friend is the one who more consistently reaches out or call you up, then make an effort to acknowledge that. It is hard to be the friend who never gets a response, so if you find yourself in the position of being the distant one, send flowers, send a text, tell them you love how much they are trying, and make a skype date or a phone call date. Something not hard. And then stick to it.

4. Value your friendships. Taking good things for granted is just shooting yourself in the foot, accruing bad karma, and being a shitty person. Pick up the phone, make some time, and talk to your people. You are NOT too               busy.

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