Some men need a little pick-me-up when it comes to their testosterone levels, which can affect their overall pep and sex drive. I have no doubt there are serious cases of low testosterone out there that require medical attention. While my heart goes out to people in pain, I have a sneaking suspicion that the manufacturers of testosterone treatments, especially ones that come in easy-to-apply roll-on applicators like Axiron, are targeting a substantial number of men who may not necessarily be suffering from a pronounced drop in testosterone levels, but something else perhaps.
Setting the hardcore medical cases aside, it seems that it would be fairly easy to prey upon fellas who would like a bit of a “macho” kick in the pants. Roll some testosterone on under your arm and suddenly you’re a new man, who not only measures up, but can also outperform the competition — whatever that competition may be.
Hey, if a tough guy like the UFC’s Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva can benefit from testosterone replacement therapy (until he got caught), then a little extra testosterone should do wonders for you. Right? Vague media promises of a supercharged libido and more energy, and now it’s easily within your reach.
We’re already culturally attuned to the rapid transformation of a wimpy guy into a diesel engine of manliness. All a guy has to do — as far as the realm of fantasy and fiction goes — is pop open a can of spinach and grow some huge muscles like Popeye (the cartoon, not the chicken joint), or get zapped with a bit of gamma radiation and rage out into brawny and virile “Hulk.”
Watch an Axiron commercial here:
Why shouldn’t a guy invest in testosterone treatments like AndroGel, Axiron and Fortesta for a little extra boost? Well, for one reason, these modern masculine “battery chargers” come with some pretty gnarly side effects — and not just for the core users. Let’s take a look at a few of the less-than-desirable effects you might experience if you choose to dose with testosterone:
Increased prostate cancer risk
All right. Those are some pretty severe conditions, but you’re a big boy and you’ve decided that the benefits outweigh the risks, and you’re going to take the testosterone plunge — but wait, there’s more. Let’s read about some of the secondary exposure symptoms people who come into contact with you — or your unwashed clothing — might get to experience:
Penis or clitoris enlargement in small children
Pubic hair growth in children
Increased libido in adults and children
Nothing fun (we’re talking children here, not adults) about any of that.
At the end of the day, if you really are a candidate for low T treatments, by all means, address your medical condition. If, on the other hand, you’re just a dude who wants to rev up his mannish attributes but doesn’t feel like working out at the gym or leading a healthier lifestyle, you might want to think twice about dipping in the medical testosterone gift bag, because your friends and loved ones could suffer as well.
When you squat down to give your adorable toddler a hug but pull back because of her scratchy, full “Ducky Dynasty” beard, you’ve probably gone a little too far with your gel or roll-on testosterone treatments. It might be time for you to find another way to realize your manly superhero dreams.