MAN WINS POWERBALL LOTTO, MAN TAKES THIS JOB AND SHOVES IT
A dollar and a dream. So there’s this guy and his name is Brian Morris. He’s 54 years old. He hated his old job. He hated it a lot. Mostly, he hated his boss, George Fitzgerald. But Morris’ fortunes changed very recently. He won a $125 million Powerball jackpot. He immediately had some plans. Well, plans besides immediately quitting his job. Morris, from the small town of Clarendon Hills in Dugale County, came up with some serious revenge on his ex-boss. The lotto winner bought $200,000 worth of manure and had it delivered to his old boss’s lawn, nice and early in the morning. Seriously, have you ever heard of someone dumping 10,000 lbs of manure on someone’s lawn?
SPENT $200,000 ON MANURE, DELIVERED TO LAWN OF EX-BOSS
All Morris had to do was fork over the money and pretend that his boss’s address was his own. No one thought to confirm such a minor detail for such a large, paid, order. It must have been a sight to behold. Literally dozens of trucks arrived at the victim’s house bright and early at 6:00 am. They immediately proceeded to dump stinky manure on the lawn. The ex-boss, Fitzgerald, woke up pretty quickly to the sound of giant dump trucks pneumatics right outside his window. He quickly called police. Too bad for him, though, as more than 10,000 lbs of crap landed on his yard in the 15 minutes it took police to respond.
POLICE RESPOND, ARREST LAUGHING LOTTO WINNER AT CRAPPY SCENE
Morris, for his part, wasn’t hiding. Far from it. When police arrived he was standing across the street, laughing hysterically. He went over to them and explained what he had done. But also why! The Clarendon Hills Police Department’s spokesman explained to the press hours later what happened. “The accused told us he’d worked for the victim for 17 years and was treated like shit. He says he had to endure his mistreatment because he needed the money, but that now that he won $125 million it was time for revenge.” He also admitted that their response time just wasn’t good enough.
LOTTO WINNER SAYS MORE TO COME IN COMING WEEKS
But Brian Morris wasn’t shy when he won the lotto prize a couple weeks ago. But he was mysterious. Reporters asked him what he was going to do with the money. That’s a normal sort of question. But Morris answer wasn’t the normal sort. “Just read the news, you’ll see.” So far, we have seen! Police released Morris on bail a few hours after the 6:00 am shenanigans. But he had another message for the media. He told them to stay alert as he had a few other pranks to pull over the next few weeks. Uh Oh! The police say they plan to keep tabs on the now-rich middle-aged juvenile. It should be fun! Stay tuned.