NY Knicks Suck Because Karma is a Bitch

NY Knicks Suck Because Karma is a Bitch

KARMA IS A VICIOUS BITCH IN NY, BECUASE KNICKS DO AS THE KNICKS DOES

So it’s best to begin by saying I’m not a NY Knicks fan.  But I should be.  So why aren’t I?  Because Karma is a bitch.  And in NY these days, she’s a harridan tabbed on bad acid trapped in Times Square with a sensory problem.  So what happened?  Sorry, you’re right.  So what happened this time?  The Knicks traded away their (supposed) star player to create cap space.  No NBA team has ever done that before.  The Unicorn, Kristaps Porzingis, is no longer a member of the Knicks organization.  Why?  Because Dallas has a better billionaire owner than New York does.  It’s pretty much as simple as that.

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DALLAS HAS A BETTER NBA BILLIONAIRE OWNER THAN NY, STRAIGHT UP

Dallas’s owner, Mark Cuban, decided that hitting two home runs in a row was a good idea.  So the Knicks pitched a major league hitter a soft ball and Boom.  Porzingis is set to play next to Mavs wunderkid Luka Doncic for years to come.  That’s great for basketball and it’s even great for the NBA league itself.  But for the Knicks?  We’ll find out in July.  That’s when we learn which two major free agents are really gonna come to Basketball Mecca and save Knicks fans from perpetual Basketball Purgatory.  But there’s that problem.  And she’s a bitch.  And she is trippin’ something fierce.

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KNICKS CRIPPLED BY CHRONIC, APATHETIC SUCCESS

Writing about all the good, great and even amazing players the Knicks have given away, traded or screwed over in just the last ten years would make my liver hiccup.  So I’ll go back to when the Karma problem all really started.  It’s when Bernard King blew out his knee and the Knicks kicked him to the curb.  Sure, that wasn’t Tom Dolan.  But Tom Dolan is a big part of the Knicks’ Karmic punishment.  So what’s the King Kong gorilla scratching himself in the Knicks room?  Pathetically apathetic success.  The Knicks make TONS of money for being awful.  And they are awful in a variety of ways.

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KNICKS FANS ALWAYS SAY WTF, THEN THE KOOL AID KICKS IN EN MASSE

Think Isaiah Thomas.  Splash.  Amare’s contract.  Carmelo.  Then Carmelo matures.  Then Knicks fans feel sympathy for Carmelo.  No one expected that!  Trading away Patrick for nothing in his twilight.  Blah, blah, blah.  But I didn’t lose my shit about losing the unicorn for several days.  Not until Knicks fans went from saying, “What the fuck!?!” to saying “I’m on board with this trade.  He (Unicorn) didn’t want to be here.”  I told all of them I hope there’s enough vodka in their Kool Aid.

THE MORE THINGS CHANGE, THE MORE THINGS STAY THE NY KNICKS

But there never will be.  They will continue to make a ton of money.  We will all watch, at least from time to time.  I, personally, will have a second or three where I want to enjoy watching them.  But those seconds will fade away. I’ll relive, again, Ewing’s finger roll miss in the Finals against Houston.  So I’ll be sure to enjoy Dallas when they play the NY Knicks.  For like the next ten years, at least.  Karma doesn’t forget!

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