King LeBron James a Massive Tool, Kyrie Irving Wants Out NOW!

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King LeBron James a Tool-Kyrie Irving Wants Out NOWLEBRON’S CAVS COMMITTED TO LEBRON’S WHIMS, BUT  A CLOCK IS TICKING

Kyrie Irving wants out!

News that should surprise absolutely no one is that the current state of Ohio is bracing for another likely drought in titles for the near future.  Soon to not be Cleveland Cavalier Kyrie Irving has asked management for a trade, scuttlebutt that came to light in under less than ideal circumstances since neither Kyrie nor Cavs management had anything to gain from leaks diminishing what the Cavs could get back in a trade with no spotlights or fanfare, especially if the Summer were to end with no trade.  Essentially Lebron is a tool and Kyrie wants out.

LEBRON’S PEEPS LEAK KYRIE TRADE DEMAND TO PROTECT LBJ’S BRAND

A suspicious mind -like, say, an even casual NBA fan- might wonder who helped bring Kyrie’s trade demand to light.  Since I’m both suspicious and a fan of the NBA let me do some of the heavy lifting for you.  Well, perhaps not so heavy?  Kyrie’s “camp” seems to have let it be known that they’re summat out of sorts that Lebron’s crew leaked his trade demand and upended the league like tossing a flash bang at a camp fire chat of remaining trade scenarios.

Read more: DUNE LAWRENCE, BLOOMBERG REPORTER ADMITS BEING TECHNOLOGICALLY IDIOTIC.

NBA DEALS ON HOLD  AS LEAGUE LOOKS ON TO SEE HOW KYRIE DEAL SHAPES FREE AGENCY

Every. Single. Recent. Deal- of any note is now only being looked at thru the lens of a Kyrie trade asset that’s off the books till December.  So why would the King or his peeps (I’m too stressed to refer to his posse, can’t imagine why) blow this up? I’m sure it’s not the optics of Kyrie not just wanting out, but away from Lebron specifically.

I’m sure it’s not anything to do with the recent firing of Cavs GM Griffin right before they were gonna pull the trigger on a trade for another All Star (what the hell happened there, anyway?).  I’m sure it’s not because Lebron is Player GM in practice, even though he’s likely leaving the Cavs at the end of next season, leaving a team tooled for him and hamstrung for several years in his wake.  Again.

NEW CAVS LEADERSHIP INHERIT MESS, BUT WHO’S MESS?

Now Koby Altman, the new Cavs GM to be, to be introduced shortly on Wednesday, is gonna have to sort all this out as a spectacle on display.  He should already be comfy in these confines, since he was acting Assistant GM under Griffin and has been acting GM till…. tomorrow makes it official.

But let’s not forget the fact that the Cavs offered the GM job to Lebron buddy Chauncey Billups, who took two weeks to survey the scene before turning the offer down.  I’m sure we all believe that he didn’t speak to Lebron till just after…. sure we do.  I’m also sure Koby feels nice and comfy having his hands tied while having no real clout that can’t be upended by the King, by fiat or fit.

LEAGUE AND FANS PLAYS HURRY UP AND WAIT ON KYRIE DEAL

Now we get to wait and see what happens to Kyrie, where he goes, what the Cavs get in return.  It’s a nail biter.  For at least 4-6 weeks.  We also get to weather Lebron savvy sportswriters  who are already offering up the scenario that Kyrie doesn’t get traded until a month or so into the season.  Like, November or December.  Like, I can’t stop saying like, like maybe because we also have to wait a year for Lebron to move to the Valley.  Like, you know?

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But let’s not crimp Lebron’s style, whatever that is.  But even -or especially- when you want to leave like Kyrie- if Lebron feels crimped, things get cramped.  You see what I did there?

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