Woman Kicked Ass at the Boston Marathon while Men Cried

Woman Kicked Ass at the Boston Marathon while Men Cried


 This past week thousands of people ran the Boston Marathon is a freezing cold rainstorm. 5% of men and only 3.8% of women dropped out. Why? Because men are actual tiny babies.  A lot of people are talking about how men dropped out of the marathon at a higher rate than women this year at the Boston Marathon. The rain was freezing cold and it only got worse as the day went on. People also forget that back in 2012 the marathon was run in 86-degree heat and women kicked ass finishing at higher rate then too. Why does it seem that women can stand extreme weather MUCH better than men? Answers, below:

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  1. Women’s bodies contain essential body fat that might have kept them warmer in the freezing temperatures, and men were wearing infant-sized diapers because they are babies.
  2. Women have stronger endurance which leads to fewer women making the decision to drop out, and men kept losing their binkies.
  3. Women pace themselves more successfully, and men kept asking supporters to read them “The Giving Tree” over and over again.
  4. Women don’t feel the need to aggressively attack the race at the beginning, and men kept chasing after pigeons.
  5. Women are better at recalibrating their behavior and expectations, and men kept being blinded by their own tears.
  6. Women are better at adjusting their goals in the moment, and men just slam their fists on the ground and throw a tantrum.
  7. Women supported each other throughout the race, and men just kept biting each other.
  8. Women reached out when they needed help, and men just sat in a corner sulking.
  9. Women who made it to the marathon had already overcome adversity to get there making them tough to begin with, and men were mostly carried around until they were placed delicately on the ground at the START sign.
  10. Women are fucking badass, and if men want to be better at the stuff they should probably start TAKING NOTES.

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