RULE NUMBER 1: DON’T HOOK A GREAT WHITE FISHING FROM A KAYAK
We’re going to need a bigger boat. Don’t get off the boat. Those are movie references that definitely apply to this story coming from Australia. A man was out in his kayak fishing off the coast of Balnarring in Victoria recently. But his day took a turn for the terrifying when a shark got snagged on his fishing line. It took him on a wild ride! The 34-year-old fisherman, now identified as Brett Palmer, hooked a great white shark. Oopsie! What came next for Brett is the stuff out of nightmares.
GREAT WHITE FEELS HOOK, INSTANTLY PULLS FISHERMAN INTO WATER
The shark, obviously, didn’t take too well to getting hooked. You can call is pique. Maybe it was ego? But in any event the great white used it’s mass and power and tried to get itself off the hooked line. But of course, Brett was on the other end. The shark’s pull immediately threw him out of his little kayak and into the water. Of course, this meant he was in the water, splashing, with a great white shark. A vexed, great white shark. He was terribly vexed.
Alligators Will Eat Sharks, With Documented Evidence
NEARBY CHUMS CAME TO THE RESCUE INSTANTLY, SHARK GLUM
But fortunately for Brett he didn’t chum the water. Actually, Brett had chums of his own nearby who were fishing as well. But they were in an actual boat. The other fishermen immediately came over and “fished” the 34-year-old from the water and away from the pissed off leviathan. So Brett docked his boat on shore and went back out to fish with his friends on their proper boat. But when he came back for his kayak it had disappeared.
IDIOT FAILS TO REPORT MISSING KAYAK, MASSIVE POINTLESS SEARCH FOR HIM ENSUES
Unfortunately, the kayak had come loose and it floated out half a mile from shore at Cliff’s Beach in Western Port Bay. Witnesses saw the empty kayak filled with fishing gear and alerted authorities. So of course authorities thought something was wrong and launched a massive search-and-rescue effort to find a fisherman who wasn’t actually missing. The search involved the Water Police, an Air Wing Police Helicopter, the Coast Guard as well as marine rescue volunteers. Brett simply forgot to report the missing kayak.
Farewell and adieu, to you fair Spanish ladies.