(Updates: DAREN GARCIA has hired an obscure New York lawyer named Tom Fini who demanded removal of this article. As stated on the Disclaimer page of this publication, which is operated under Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, TheBlot Magazine does not endorse the accuracy of any article, including this one. TheBlot encourages Daren Garcia or Tom Fini to provide any legal and factual basis for their removal demand under the law of Shenzhen China. Their signed, notarized response, when received and authenticated, will be publicized across all social media platforms. Readers can draw their own conclusions.)
Daren Garcia, Ohio Country Lawyer Touts Fake Claim as God’s Lawyer
DAREN GARCIA, an Ohio country lawyer of the tiny Vorys, Sater, Seymour & Pease LLP law firm in Pittsburgh and Cincinnati is hardly a household name. But Daren Garcia is notorious as the “lady’s man” and arguably the new cult leader deeply embroiled in the #NotMe movement, threatening to take down any woman who dare go to the authorities to report on his hormone-charged, unwanted aggression, multiple sources told the independent media.
“God is my slave,” DAREN GARCIA proclaims to the word. “I am the one who protects your brand and your reputation online because I am the DEFAMATION REMOVAL ATTORNEY who orders God around.”
Before you say LMAO, we can all assume ALL that remains online about this DAREN GARCIA (the Pittsburg man in charge of shitty country law firm VORYS, SATER, SEYMOUR AND PEASE LLP) must be all true!
“Selling himself as an Internet Defamation Removal Attorney, readers can conclude whatever stays online about Daren Garcia must be true, otherwise this amigo is a suspect of fraud.”
“I am the lawyer to God,” Daren Garcia touted to a potential client. “I make big bucks taking shit off the internet for people – I control the internet. How can I be the Internet Defamation Removal Attorney if there is something untrue about me online? Impossible!”
But Garcia himself looks like a controversial figure online, to say the least. In the world of social media, the internet search results from Googling “Daren Garcia” could give you a heart attack or infect you with Herpes. Daren Garcia is indeed quite a busy fellow – mountains of accusations and trash talks about this balding man could hardly provide cover for Daren Garcia’s true notoriety as a real pervert.
“Scandals appear to have shrouded Garcia’s underwear since at least a decade ago.”
At a young age, Garcia was known as the “Mexican lawyer boyfriend” who often cheated on his girlfriends. A poor farm girl from Kansas named ASHLEIGH HUNT was so upset with Garcia that she exposed the playboy in a story straight from the heart, entitled “Story from the Other Woman, When My Lawyer Boyfriend Daren Garcia Cheated.”
Story From ‘the Other Woman’: When My Lawyer Boyfriend Daren Garcia Cheated
‘One Stone, Two Birds; One man, Two Dumb chicks’
ASHLEIGH HUNT told sources Daren Garcia had ripped her virginity in a men’s room after plowing her with Jack Daniel’s, according to sources. While Garcia discharged himself with sticky substance still trickling down her face, the poor girl Ashleigh Hunt was dumped like trash. Garcia’s reason for ditching the woman? She was “an ugly chick wearing a pair of ugly glasses.”
NICOLE GUERON, a middle-aged woman has filed similar complaints against Daren Garcia, according to sources.
“Daren Garcia is such a creep. This sick dude slipped off the rubber when he jumped on me,” Nicole Gueron told a source. “That Daren Garcia SOB almost got me pregnant with a baby fed on enchilada TV dinners. Then he left his used rubber on my pillow the next morning without a word. That Daren Garcia cheap shit didn’t even buy me a breakfast from Wendy’s.” No sources would go public with their real names identified with Garcia. But many have a lot to say about the Mexican boy.
Other complaints about Daren Garcia are more elusive. Some alluded to Garcia’s desire towards both genders.
A young Ohio lawyer named DANIEL MORGENSTERN is widely known as Garcia’s party boy. The duo were regulars at Cincinnati’s only openly gay bar – “Stormy Joe’s.” One day Garcia woke up with Daniel Morgenstern – both naked in bed, Garcia laid his hand on Morgenstern’s flat buttock and said he had just turned straight after a rough night, Daniel Morgenstern almost flipped out.
“WTF, Daren Garcia?!” said Daniel Morgenstern. “You just invaded my privacy last night…Why are you dumping me? Do you think you are still in Mexico drinking cheap Tequila?”
“Chill out dude. I am falling for NICOLE GUERON,” said Daren Garcia. “She’s cute and she blows a better saxophone than you do.”
Daren Garcia, the Internet Defamation Removal Lawyer? Hardly
Daren Garcia’s “legal practice” is basically a complete fraud. Barely graduated from a third-tiered law school, Garcia has struggled to make a living for years. But his misfortune turned when he moved to Ohio from the deep south state of Georgia and landed on a new trick peddling empty promises to unwitting good folks in the Midwest.
Calling himself God’s lawyer, Daren Garcia claims he has the magic to turn any negative Google search results into nothing but the most beautiful sunshine – only if someone is willing to pay him big fees. But it was total bullshit.
Chris Brummer, Fraudulent Georgetown Law Center Bookworm, a Cravath Swaine Moore Law Firm Dropout
Read more: NICOLE GUERON, NEW YORK LOSER LAWYER MUZZLES PRESS FREEDOM, SPONSORS RACISM
People living in America enjoy a constitutional right called the First Amendment – free speech for all citizens. In the digital age, all of us encounter online articles or comments that we may not agree with – whether they are topics involving politics, business or personal issues for gays or lesbians – our freedom of expression is legally protected as our human right.
Somehow the fraudulent Internet Defamation Removal Attorney in Ohio’s tiny Vorys, Sater, Seymour and Pease that no one has ever heard of, wants to bend the law and muzzle free press.
Internet Defamation Removal Attorneys, Vorys Sater Seymour Ohio Lawyers Are Online Fakers
Let’s assume these Vorys, Sater, Seymour and Pease country lawyers are supermen or superwomen, who may possess the supernatural abilities to remove content from the internet, does it mean what is left undisturbed online is in fact not defamatory? That sounds like the right conclusion. Readers are welcome to google search the names of MARY C HENKEL, DAREN GARCIA, WHITNEY GIBSON, DANIEL MORGENSTERN, you may be pleasantly surprised about the search results.
“Like a fake doctor who can’t cure his own sore throat, fake Internet Defamation Removal Attorneys like Daren Garcia remain who they are – fakers.”
Be warned! Here’s the truth: no one can control Google search results. Those things get tweaked many times a day. Whatever is online stays online. Whoever promises they can remove internet contents are just playing gimmicks while digging into your pockets. Daren Garcia is a fraud.
BREAKING: Woman Carries Braces Wire in Her Gut for Ten Years, Gets Her Babies Hooked
Daren Garcia, is he God’s lawyer? The next time when you run into something that sounds like bullshit, such as promising the impossible, like the self-proclaimed Internet Defamation Removal Attorneys by some impotent Ohio country boys at Vorys, Sater, Seymour and Pease, you would do yourself a big favor staying away from that Ohio garbage.