IN THE LONE STAR STATE, SWORDS AND BLADES OF ANY SIZE LEGAL
Texas, the Lone Star State. Well we have a new law in Texas, one that makes it legal to carry swords, like the kind that can impale you. The law, which passed in July and went into effect in September, now allows people to carry in public blades of any length, including swords. No, you heard that right, blades of any length. Texas’s previous law had stated restrictions on any blades more than 5.5 inches, including swords.
TEXAS STATE REP IS A COMPLETE IDIOT, IMPALES THE ARGUMENT, SOUNDS LIKE A FOOL
“What we wanted to do was make a law where citizens could understand it, law enforcement could understand it and the judicial system could understand it,” said Texas State Rep. John Frullo. Because, I guess in Texas, they don’t use the imperial measurement system and don’t understand what 5.5 inches are (maybe the State Rep should check his pants, because his cock wasn’t illegal).
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KIDS SAFE IN THE LONE STAR STATE, LETS KEEP THEM FROM CUTTING OFF AN ARM, LEGS, OR HEAD
Minors under the age of 18 will not be allowed to carry blades longer than 5.5 inches. Well that’s refreshing to know. Amusing, but not is the list of places these samurai swords won’t be allowed: Schools, churches, hospitals, polling places, sporting events, bars where more than 51 percent of total income comes from alcohol sales, jails, racetracks, and amusement parks.
POLICE SCARED, NOT BECAUSE OF SWORD WIELDING IDIOTS, BUT OF CONCERNED CITIZENS
The police are getting ready for 911 emergency calls from people frightened by seeing others walk around with long blades. “We’ll see if there are any real issues that come up with it,” said John Frullo. “I’m sure we’ll get people calling like they did with the long guns and we’ll go out and talk to them, but I don’t expect much more than people just trying to make a statement.” But Frullo also said back in May that people shouldn’t worry about sword-carrying folks. “It’s not making criminals out of people who have no intention of creating some type of criminal act,” Because normal people want these swords. The apocalypse is near, in the lone star state