A BIG MISUNDERSTANDING? OR, I LOVE TO FIGHT WITH MY BOYFRIENDS AND GIRLFRIENDS?
What do you do when there is a big misunderstanding with your partner, your girlfriends or your boyfriends? Do you fight for your side or do you give in? I’m a fighter. I am articulate and always know how to put my emotions into words. This can be totally great, or it can steam-role and intimidate whoever I’m talking with. It can also mean that I stop listening and just talk and talk and talk. If there is a misunderstanding I might rush right past it, drawing all sorts of conclusions that maybe are superfluous and incorrect. But isn’t it my partner’s responsibility to defend himself and fight back? Why do I keep doing this with my boyfriends and girlfriends that I love?
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IF YOU DON’T RESPOND IN TIME, TELL ME I’M WRONG, IT’S ON YOU
My current partner is sweet and sensitive, but he is a man, which means sometimes it takes him five minutes to respond to me. I have no idea what’s going on inside his head, but he must be sorting through his thoughts and feelings. That’s what I assume is happening. But when I make an assumption based on something he says, and my assumption is wrong, he doesn’t stop me and tell me I’m wrong.
My BF Hates Me when He is Hangry
WITH LOVE, SOMETIMES I CAN’T HELP BUT GO DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE
I wish he would tell me no stop that’s wrong that’s not what I meant you got it all wrong. But deep down, really deep down, I think he thinks he is bad. I think he thinks he is unworthy or wrong or broken in some irreparable way. So when I misunderstand and start to assume he is some of those things, he doesn’t say wait no stop I’M A GOOD PERSON. He just lets me keep believing that he’s all those bad things.
WE NEED TO HELP EACH OTHER GROW UP, BUT WHERE TO START?
I wish he knew how good he was. So he would defend himself sometimes. But maybe I’m just a monster forcing him to become defensive. Maybe I need to stop needling and questioning. Maybe I need to also remember who he is and what I know of him. It’s hard to believe someone is good when they might not fully believe it themselves.