HUMAN BARBIE NOT HUMAN?
Hailing from Kiev, Ukraine, the other worldly model Valeria Lukyanova is apparently floating through time and space, converting her body to subsist on nothing but light and air. No, seriously. Known on the Internet as “the human Barbie” for her doll-like, impossible to achieve body, which truly does most resemble the controversial version of Mattel’s golden gal. Lukyanova attributes the plastic-like figure to her new diet, or non-diet, creatively and ridiculously dubbed Breathariansim. Basically, a convert gives up the non-required ingredients for life substance called food and water, instead training their body to subsist on “cosmic microfood.”
BREATHARIANSIM, SCIENCE NOT REQUIRED, SHE JUST EATS AIR
Shockingly, this is not a scientifically supported form of sustenance. Perhaps not the best advocate for an up-and-coming dietary fad – think of her has the anti-Oprah – Lukyanova also believes she’s an alien from outer space (specifically Venus), can time travel, and freely admits to having voices in her head. Her stated goal is to literally become a living breathing Barbie, her idea of the paragon of aesthetic excellence. She claims to have had a doll fetish as a child, and apparently revisits this fetish frequently.
She’s also not the only disturbed lady out there trying to ascend to the dream house of Barbie-ness. California’s Blondie Bennett is piling on the plastic surgery and even working at lowering her IQ – which we’re guessing wasn’t stratospheric to begin with – in hopes of becoming the ultimate homage to an impossible, plastic-molded body image.
BREATHARIANISM? TALKING TO ALIENS? INTENTIONALLY LOWERING YOUR IQ? REPLICANT PLASTIC DOLL BLONDE BIMBOS?
A little Internet researching, or simply looking at the photo section on Lukyanova’s Facebook page – which has almost a million likes, WTF is wrong with us? – reveals that these two may just be the tip of a subculture devoted to real-life marionette impersonations. Alas, this isn’t the beginning of a SciFi novel or CW network tween fantasy soap opera. At least, we don’t think it is. With the way guerrilla marketing works these days, what is even real anymore?