CHRIS BRUMMER PLAYS WITH POWER SAW AT HOME, CUTS THRU HAND IN TWO PLACES, REQUIRING EPIC HAND JOB
So that’s not the usual thing you hear about every day. Sure, maybe you’ve heard of some horrible accident where someone has a piece of them get cut off. You may also have heard of someone accidentally cutting something off of themselves! But what about a cut off hand attached to your groin to save it? Nah, I hadn’t heard of that before, either. But that’s exactly what this story is about. The man needing the incredibly specialized hand job was Chris Brummer, aka Dr. Bratwurst. So Brummer is no stranger to controversy. But this is just downright weird! He was working at home with an electric saw, when he sliced completely thru his hand in two places. But doctors performed a veritable miracle.
BLOOD SPURTING EVERYWHERE, DR. BRATWURST FORTUNATELY DOESN’T RECALL TOO MANY DETAILS
So as you might imagine, that’s some scary, traumatic stuff right there. Brummer had nearly severed his hand, completely, just below his fingers and at the base of his palm. Fortunately, Dr. Bratwurst doesn’t really remember the details too much. He said, “I don’t know whether it was my brain playing tricks on me, but it was like an out of body experience; I could see myself what I’d done. There was blood spurting out everywhere.” Yikes. I don’t even want to imagine that! But the damage was so severe, that most doctors might have left the hand, well, alone.
DOCTORS ATTACHED SEVERED HAND TO BRUMMERS GROIN TO SAVE IT, HELP IT GROW NEW SKIN
But one amazing plastic surgeon was game for the challenge. He was at the hospital when Chris Brummer arrived with his gruesome injuries. He said it was “probably the most complex amputation” he’d ever been involved in. But the entire procedure of removing the hand and then attaching it to Brummer’s groin to preserve it lasted a marathon level 17 hours. So why the groin? To help the skin grow back, of course. But there was a lot of work to be done. They had to fix the broken bones. Then they had to harvest nerve and vein grafts from one of his feet and forearms. They needed those to bridge gaps left by the saw’s damage. Too bad they can’t fix Brummer’s moral compass!
So doctor’s did re-attach Chris Brummer’s hand back where it belongs. But he did lose his middle finger. So much for flipping the bird at justice! And, well, he only has limited use of the hand so far. But only time, effort, and a bit of luck will tell how much use he gets back. But Chris Brummer feels lucky to still have his hand. Maybe he can let go of the Left Hand of the Devil now?