OLD GEEZER LIKES MOLESTING A COW
Oh geez, here we go again. There seems to be a growing bestiality trend. Someone caught a retired geezer from West London wet handed. Authorities have now banned him from every farm in Britain. Witnesses saw him masturbating with one hand and his other hand fully inside a cow. Ugh. So this is the second time he has assaulted a cow. The farmer, Susan Howie, noticed a man on her farm and his left hand was interfering with the cow. And his other hand was going up and down on the lower crotch part of his body. But he also dropped his pants and his boxers were at his ankles. So this means he was either choreographing a new jig or he was masturbating. But he was definitely masturbating. The second time his whole hand was up the cow.
PULLS DOWN HIS BOXERS AND JACKS OFF
The farmer and his family have been upset by the whole scenario. The cows are not just cows to them, but family. The farmer said that they never gave anyone permission to touch their cows. It’s not at all funny and they are very upset about it. John Curno, the old geezer who molested the cows, used to visit churches in the area and told people he liked the view. But what he was really doing was scoping out farms and checking out which cow he wanted to molest. So after these two incidences, he pulled his boxers down again and tried to have sex with a cow. Two sisters witnessed this. He tried for up to half an hour. But for some reason the two sisters watched the entire attempt. They only called police after Curno was done trying!
SAYS HE HASN’T MASTURBATED IN YEARS
The old geezer said he is going to sue the police because none of this is true. He is claiming that he hasn’t pulled his boxers down and not been able to masturbate in over three years due to the medication he takes. His sentencing will take place in February. So if you’re reading this story, try not to have a cow.