WHY FUNERALS ARE SO CREEPY WEIRD
Funerals are sad, they are happy, they make you feel crazy, yay! My grandfather died two years ago and we have made it a tradition to go out and visit him every year. The person we are really visiting is his wife, who isn’t our grandma, but whom we love dearly. This year we all flew out like last year, and even though we are now two years on, my family is NOT over it. It just reminds me every year how creepy and weird funerals are, even years later.
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GRIEVING TRADITION STILL HARD TO DO
I realized it earlier this week when my dad started snapping at me in a way that was very out of character. At first, I got pretty mad. It seemed unfounded and mean. But then I realized that he was acting sensitive because of what we were going to do at the end of the week: visit grandpa at the cemetery.
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CEMETERIES MAKE EVERYONE THINK MORBID THOUGHTS
No one has moved on, no one is at peace. Everyone is still very much sitting with their grief. So we get to the cemetery on the Sunday and finally have to deal with our thoughts and feelings. Which is hard! I started thinking about his wife and how sad she must be. My boyfriend started thinking about his own death. And my dad and uncle started thinking about the man their father was, all the problems and all the memories. And then we sat down on blankets and laughed. We laughed about good memories in an almost maniacal way, like we were so happy to just not be crying that we laughed even harder. It was super weird.
AMERICANS HAVE NO REAL DEATH TRADITIONS, WE ALL JUST MAKE IT UP
Americans have no rituals, no traditions, no way of dealing with death. So when we are finally faced with death we are caught off guard and don’t know how to act. We laugh, we cry, we push off the emotional work we will eventually have to do to get over the loss of our loved one. I hope we are able to move on eventually, but who knows. Maybe we will just keep going back to the grave, pretending the funeral was only yesterday.