Florida Officials Close Public Park for Yearly Snake Orgy

Florida Officials Close Public Park for Yearly Snake Orgy

SO MANY SNAKES CAME OUT TO MATE IN MASSIVE SLITHERING SNAKE ORGY, FLORID OFFICIALS CLOSED PARKS

So we’re now a bit past the commercial orgy of romance we call Valentine’s Day.  Shoot, Groundhog Day is just a shadow already.  But the cycle of life moves on.  So for snakes in Florida, they have Valentine’s Day just a little bit later.  And for them, that means a literal orgy that would make the dead’s skin crawl.  So to be specific, we’re talking about Florida water snakes.  Fortunately, we’re not talking about Water Moccasins.  They’re not poisonous, fortunately.  But when they come out to do their coitus coil en masse, it’s a sight to behold.  So much so that Florida officials closed local public parks near Lake Hollingsworth.  It’s a regular snake orgy.

Read More: 9-Year-Old Snakebit With Medical Bills After Getting Bit By Snake

OFFICIALS SAY TO LEAVE COPIOUS SNAKE ORGY ALONE, ONCE THEY’RE DONE, THEY’RE GONE

Lake Hollingsworth is a small lake in central Florida.  A week ago, visitors there saw so many Florida water snakes coming out of the water to mate that authorities had to take action.  They literally cordoned off sections of parks and posted a serious warning on Facebook.  Local Parks Officials posted, “It appears [that the snakes] have congregated for mating.  They are nonvenomous and generally not aggressive as long as people do not disturb them. Once the mating is over, they should go their separate ways.”  But still.  Ewwww.  Snake Orgy!

Related:

https://www.theblot.com/florida-dui-police-car/

DON’T BE A MOOD KILLER AND COMMIT ANY COILUS INTERRUPTUS IN NATURAL SAUSAGE PARTY

So there are two different species of Florida water snakes getting it on in nature’s most slithery orgy.  They are the banded water snake and the brown water snake.  Both live in Florida’s wetlands.  But you can find them as far north as Virginia.  They eat fish, frogs and other small water creatures.  They hang out getting sun on the shore or hang, dangling from trees.  But once a year, they come out in an insane display of parks and recreation cruising that can only be a sight to behold.  Or, well, to avoid at all costs.  Otherwise, you might be engaging in coilus interruptussssss.

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