So by now, at least 95 percent of the American population has seen Nicole Arbour’s “Dear Fat People” video.
The first time I watched it, I couldn’t believe that someone could be that, well, ridiculous. I am a fan of comedy and comedians — and have been my entire life — but this, this wasn’t a comedian telling borderline offensive jokes, “Dear Fat People” was just a cheap shot by a woman who claims to be funny trying to be funny while instead is being highly offensive.
The saddest part? I think Arbour believes that she’s doing people a favor, but in reality, she’s being detrimental to society. I hate to be calling attention to her at all, it makes me feel like I just ate a latte-soaked sausage sandwich, but unfortunately it’s out there. And hopefully, this is the last we hear of her.
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So, here is a list of every offensive thing in her “Dear Fat People” video. It’s hard to watch — and read.
- “What are you gonna do fat people? You gonna chase me? Really, you’re gonna chase me? It’s gonna be like fucking Frankenstein.”
- “I can get away from you by walking at a reasonable pace.”
- “Fat shaming is not a thing. Fat people made that up.”
- “‘Yeah, but I couldn’t fit into a store, that’s discrimination.’ Uh, no, that means you’re too fat! You should stop eating.”
- “Are you going to tell the doctor that they’re mean and fat shaming you when they say you have fucking heart disease?”
- “Big-boned isn’t a thing. How stupid do I look? There are no fucking skeletons that look like the Michelin Man.”
- “Fat shaming. Who came up with that? That’s fucking brilliant. Yes, shame people who have bad habits until they fucking stop.”
- “If we offend you so much that you lose weight, I’m OK with that. You are killing yourself.”
- “Maybe I’m a little jealous that you get to eat what you want.”
- “Obesity is a disease? Yeah, well so is being a shopaholic, but I don’t get a fucking parking pass.”
- “Fat people mall parking spots should be at the back. Walk to the doors, burn some calories.”
- (In response to the #bodypositive) “If you want to be positive to your body, eat well.”
- “Do you really think if enough of you hashtag something bad for you it makes it OK?”
- “Everybody use the hashtag, it will unplug our arteries.”
- “They don’t tell you that plus size stands for plus heart disease, plus knee problems, plus diabetes. Plus your family crying because they lost you too soon because you needed to have a Coke plus fries.” (Arbour then does a little dance shouting, “Yeah, plus size! Plus size!”)
- “I was at the airport not too long ago, and I had to wait in line … as I get to the front of the line, a family comes to the front … fattest most obese, I’m talking TLC special fat.”
- “They go to go to the front of the line because they were complaining that their knees hurt too much to stand … I came here an hour early like I was supposed to, but you overeat, so let me help you.”
- “And they complain, and they smell like sausages. I don’t even think they ate sausages. That’s just their aroma.”
- “They’re so fat that they’re that standing sweat fat. Crisco was coming out of their pores like a fucking Play-Doh Fun Factory.”
- “I am a blonde girl who can speak in full sentences and have no interest in a sugar daddy. I’m a minority.”
- “I am rushing to catch my plane and who do I see in a golf cart? Fat Family!”
- “If I play an ugly girl in a movie, I get a fucking Oscar.”
- “A stewardess walks up to me. “Hey, ma’am, I’d hate to ask, but we’ve got a disabled passenger, would you mind switching seats?”
- “Oh, look it’s Fat Family, and Jabba the Son sits right beside me … his fat was on my lap.”
- “I don’t now the correlation between high notes and calorie intake, but I’m not going to question it.”
Daniella Bondar is a contributing journalist for TheBlot Magazine.