AFTER A 2-DAY ERECTION, AGONY, MAN FEARED HIS PENIS WOULD DIE
So I don’t know about you, but a 2-day erection sounds like a bit much. Even at the relatively young age of 41 (which I remember fairly well!), I wouldn’t have been too freaked out. Well, until the pain started at least. And I did a little research and learned about the utterly final dangers. And this was certainly true for Elliot Rossitter. He was on vacation in Nice, France. But then things went on the up and up. And they didn’t come down. That’s right, his penis said that special engorged hello. But it refused to say goodbye for two days! Rossitter realized he only had one option after speaking with doctors there. If he didn’t have surgery, he’d never be on the up and up again for the rest of his life. Yup, permanent downer.
WHEN DOCTORS SAID HE’D LOSE HIS SEX LIFE WITHOUT SURGERY, POOR SOD DIDN’T HESITATE
But at first the poor man didn’t realize what was happening. He said, “I thought it would never go away. It was bigger than a usual erection and wouldn’t stop throbbing.” Eek. A 2-day erection sounds like a nightmare. Those two things usually sound ideal. Unless, of course, that throbbing is not the good kind. Like, pain with every heartbeat. So as you might imagine, Rossitter went in and had the operation. But as necessary as that was, it still sounds a little hairy (well, depending) scary. Doctors had to cut a hole into the base of his penis. Then they used that hole to drain out all the blood and allow the poor member to return to its winter stature.
PRIAPISM IS NO JOKE, SO IF THIS HAPPENS TO YOU, GET HELP OR LOSE YOUR TOOL
So what happened here? Well, doctors call it priapism. That’s when men get an erection that just won’t go away. If you get an erection for longer than two hours, you should seek medical help. So a 2-day erection is seriously dangerous. But obviously, if you are in situ for two hours, don’t be stupid. Do your thang. But if it’s priapism, there could be permanent damage and no more erections forever. Rossitter’s endless boner was caused by a rare reaction he had to a combination of pain killers he was taking for injuries from skiing from more than a decade before. If this happens to you, don’t use ice packs. Oddly, ice can make the situation worse. Try to have a piss, a gentle walk, even a warm bath or shower. But if your true north doesn’t waver, get thee to the professional penis drainers. And no, I’m still talking about doctors. And if they say surgery, say yes.