WHO IS THAT MASKED MAN? MYSTERY BREEDS INTEREST IN DATING
According to a recent psychological study, withholding information about yourself or, your feelings can be similarly alluring. In the study, researchers asked women to look at the profiles of fictional men who had also “looked” at many women’s profiles. Each woman was told she was looking at men who either liked her a lot, thought she was average, or whose feelings about her were unknown. While it wasn’t surprising that women were more drawn to men who found them attractive, they were most attracted to the men whose feelings were unknown. “If I don’t know if you like me or not, I have to really dwell on it and think about you a lot more,” a noted researcher says. “There’s a lot more mental energy going into processing the possibilities.”
MYSTERY IN THE BEGINNING GOOD, BUT WILL GET SICK OF IT
Even though uncertainty can command our attention for days, even weeks, but the effect is limited and will get old “A certain amount of mystery can be appealing in the beginning of a relationship,” Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist says. “People really like mystery men, for a while—but after a while, they get sick of it.” Researchers in Hong Kong ran a test with a bunch of men and divided them into two groups: In the “committed” group, the men were able to choose a woman to go on a date with, and in the “uncommitted” group, the men were randomly paired with a woman. On half of the dates, the woman was enthusiastic, and on the others, she was disinterested. Afterwards, the men answered questions about the date.
MEN MORE INVESTED IN HARD TO GET WOMEN
No surprise, men liked the woman more when she was enthusiastic but when she was disinterested, the men who chose to go on the date—which signaled that they were more invested—were more likely to want to go on a second date with he.. In other words, the committed men liked the hard-to-get woman less, but they wanted her more. “When we put more effort into trying to get someone to be attracted to us, once we get over that challenge, there’s a big reward.”
BRAINS PLAY WITH YOUR BIG AND LITTLE HEAD FROM THE WOMB
Unfortunately, all that potential for reward may be lost depending on a factor you can’t control: neurotransmitter activity in your potential mate’s brain. People whose brains are saturated with serotonin tend to be avoidant, traditional, and conventional, Fisher says, and they won’t be interested in your game. The hard-to-get strategy may work best on people whose brains are doused in dopamine, a marker for exploratory behavior: unpredictability, playfulness, and high energy levels. “We’re born with certain propensities,” Fisher explains. “These things are pretty well programmed in the womb.” Since you don’t carry a MRI around to scan your potential’s brain, your best strategy is to use the air of mystery to get their attention, not to keep it. It is a fact we fall in love in the long run with people who are interested in us—time to rip off the mask when it is time to commit.