Dissect Miley Cyrus’s Quote, One Naked Frame at a Time

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Dissect Miley Cyrus's Quote, One Naked Frame at a Time

 

Miley Cyrus’s boycott of clothing is getting serious

As Miley Cyrus went butt naked for her latest music video, “Wrecking Ball.” If she’s trying to spread the word that clothing is evil, her tactics are working, since the video has broken the record for most views on Vevo in 24 hours (with 12.3 million views), a title previously held by One Direction for their video “Best Song Ever” (which only had a measly 10.9 million views). One Direction, you’re doing it all wrong. What’s with all the pants and hoodies and denim jackets? What century do you think we’re in?

And that’s why Miley shattered your record. She even enlisted the help of seasoned photographer of naked people Terry Richardson to direct. This girl clearly knows what she’s doing. Richardson expertly directs the camera to cover all areas of Miley as she straddles a wrecking ball, which is not easy to do when the thing is swinging all over the place. Let’s break it down (no pun intended), shall we?

The video opens with a close-up of her face, and she’s all mascara and lipstick, which I like, but sometimes her face looks strikingly similar to a Furby and it freaks me out. A single tear falls from her eye as she starts singing the corresponding sad lyrics.

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Then she’s holding a sledgehammer — what is she going to do with that sledgehammer?? She’s still clothed at this point, wearing a white, cropped wife beater, white underwear and maroon Doc Martens. She walks around a cement box structure, that looks like it’s begging to be wrecked, teasing it by dragging the sledgehammer along its walls and nuzzling it to her face seductively. But then a wrecking ball comes in and breaks down the structure. How anticlimactic. But I guess the video is called “Wrecking Ball” and not “Sledgehammer” (Peter Gabriel had dibs on that construction site tool). By the next verse, Miley’s on the wrecking ball, still clothed.

 

Oh no, her tongue’s coming out. She wants to lick the sledgehammer, but she’s playing hard to get. Then, without warning (I would have appreciated a little warning my first time watching this), she’s naked! (Except for her Docs.)

And she’s fully licking the sledgehammer. Oh, it’s on now.

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She’s rubbing the ball, nuzzling and whispering sweet nothings to the chain. Oh chain, I have so many feelings.

As she lays among the rubble, a metaphor for her broken heart, Miley gives us the obligatory butt shot. Even in an entire video that’s gratuitous, this shot one-ups it.

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And then a few frames later, the camera moves up her body and we’re hit with it again! Miley! We’re only human. We can only take so much of your butt.

Then we get an extended scene of her close-up, which at this point feels like a small respite, and then she closes out the video with full force. Naked ball straddling, hammer licking, and a few more shots of her butt just for good measure.

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The video ends with her laying in ruins, literally and figuratively, as the wrecking ball heads for the camera.

Whew. I’m glad we could go through that together. Best of luck to Miley in her campaign against clothing, which she seems to be bringing to all sectors of society. Now that Miley’s conquered the construction industry, maybe she’ll be a naked Con Ed worker in her next video.

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You can watch the video in its entirety below.

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