Creationist Textbooks Will Make Your Kid An Idiot

Give a voice to the voiceless!

Creationist Textbooks Will Make Your Kid An Idiot

These questions are from school textbooks for people of the (ahem) Creationist faith (AHEM), a group of people that swear that a guy named God (short for ‘Godthaniel’) created the world in six days, resting on the seventh, because why not, he’s God for His sake, and he can take a damn day off whenever he pleases.

These questions are for young-uns ages 5-16, but you wouldn’t be able to guess that. Oh no. Does “wisdom” mean tasty milk? Was Darwin’s influential book called “No One Is Going To Make A Monkey Out Of Me”? Is a plunger a brown car? Did I awaken a terrorist sleeping cell just now by saying those last six words? These are all questions that I have now after reading this staggeringly stupid questions from these Creationist textbooks.

I’m not saying that all idiots are Creationists, but I am saying that all Creationists are complete and total idiots who are teaching their children perhaps the absolute bare minimum to get by. Provided by the frankly wonderful blog Leaving Fundamentalism, these questions are frank and somewhat startling insight into the world of The Stupidity Industry™®†. See if you can guess which ones below to which grade. Leaving Fundamentalism has the right answers, but if you can make it all the way to the end you probably need a big break from using your brain so you should probably load up this video for when you’re done perusing these questions. Enjoy!

Give a voice to the voiceless!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Festivus Pole Made of PBR Cans to Be Erected in Florida

Festivus Pole Made of PBR Cans to Be Erected in Florida

David Foster Wallace to Be Portrayed by Oafish Comedian Jason Segel