Contraband In Anus Means Cavity Searches for Everyone

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Contraband In Anus Means Strip and Cavity Searches


Some people in prison find that the best way to hide contraband is in the anus.  Mainly it’s because full strip searches do not involve the nether regions.  A strip search usually is just a strip search, plain and simple.  However, some prisons are still in the habit of doing full cavity searches.  Unfortunately, one guy named Wylie-Biggs didn’t get away smuggling a package in his anus. Of course, it didn’t help that an officer saw him receive something from another inmate, raising suspicion.  So guards promptly subjected him to a strip/cavity search.  This consisted of orders to bend over and spread his buttocks. Evidently, he didn’t stuff the contraband high enough in.  They could see it without looking too deeply.  What they saw didn’t surprise them at all.


This strip and cavity search resulted in finding contraband.  Officers found a bag with blue balloons filled with synthetic marijuana between Wylie-Biggs buttocks.  He was promptly sentenced. In fact, three to six more years were added on to his sentence for possessing contraband.  Note that in prison there are different kinds of contraband such as drugs, matches, moonshine over the holidays and snacks, to name just a few.  People make moonshine out of rotten fruit and other vile things.  But moonshine does the trick, and fast. Drugs will get someone in a lot of trouble, including a much longer sentence. And that is exactly what Mister Wylie-Briggs received.

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It might seem redundant, but if you shove something in your anus, it belongs to you.  Wylie-Biggs contested this obvious truth, stating that there was no proof that the contraband was in fact his.  Somehow, he thought that made sense after they found it in his rear end. How do you expect to say drugs found in your anus are not your drugs?  But prosecutors felt that possession was 9/10 of the law.  The judge agreed that that was enough evidence proving it was his.  Maybe next time Wylie-Biggs will do a better job of turning the other cheek.

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