SCIENCE NOW SAYS ENOUGH MASTURBATION BY MEN ACTUALLY LOWERS CANCER RISK
As a person with hairy palms, this is well come news. And even if you don’t know what hairy palms means, trust me, you have hairy palms, too. Because let’s all be honest, everyone who’s able to, masturbates. Sure, it’s better to have someone on the regular help with the cleaning of the pipes. But that’s not how libido and timing 24/7 works. So let’s get to the meat of the matter! New research has found that a sufficient amount of masturbation actually lowers the cancer risk for men. And only men, at least in this regard. Sorry, ladies! But if you are a man, and you have even the slightest suspicion you could maybe flog the dolphin or beat your meat a bit more, it’s time to get the mood music on quick play.
HOW MUCH MASTURBATION? FELLAS, AT LEAST 21 TIMES EVERY MONTH
But maybe you don’t like dolphins? There’s also the five-knuckle shuffle, paddling the pink canoe, menage a moi, hand-to-gland combat, polishing the bald man, choking the chicken, dating palmela handerson, etc, etc, etc. But regardless of your hand-on masturbation euphemism of preference, the numbers don’t lie. Men need to ejaculate a minimum of 21 times a month to lower their risk of prostate cancer by as much as 22%. That’s kind of a big deal. Big enough that those of us with the xy thang might want to disregard privacy concerns and just go ahead and make a porn account online.
Related:
Anti-Masturbation Group Members Have Higher Risk of Suicidal Thoughts
1 IN EVERY 8 AMERICAN MEN GET PROSTATE CANCER, AND IT’S THE SECOND MOST DEADLY CANCER
And hey, being 22% less likely to get prostate cancer is, uh, nothing to shake a stick at. One out of every 8 men gets it, with 60% of all cases with men over the age of 65. It’s also the second leading cause of cancer deaths of American men. If sufficient masturbation can help lower the risk of prostate cancer by 22%, it’s logical that men should get some financial deals on porn, lube or whatever else could help peel the banana 21+ times a month. Fortunately, Viagra is also covered, which older gents might need to get their….. numbers up. FCancer, a nonprofit focused on cancer prevention and early detection, has made masturbation a mission to help prevent prostate cancer.
You can see their Beat Cancer Off page for more info, and euphemisms.
