Police Investigate As Central Waterway Canal is Fluorescent Green

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Police Investigate As Central Waterway Canal is Fluorescent Green

LOCALS MYSTIFIED AS THEY WAKE TO BRIGHT FLUORESCENT GREEN CANAL IN VENICE, ITALY

Yesterday, residents in Venice woke up to possibly wonder if they were in Boston, Massachusetts on St. Patrick’s Day.  Or maybe Chicago, Illinois?  Because what else could one do when they walk out for their morning coffee on the romantic terrace and see that the canal out front is fluorescent green?  Well, ok, maybe a romantic terrace isn’t terribly common in Boston.  Or Chicago.  And, well, Venice is the city of canals known the world over.  But the vibrant, unnatural color was more than somewhat noticed and commented on.  In fact, it’s the talk of the town.  And as you might expect, police are going to investigate to get to the bottom of it (not the canal).

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AUTHORITIES TESTING TO IDENTIFY FLUORESCENT GREEN SOURCE FOR PUBLIC SAFETY

The fluorescent green first appeared in a patch of central waterway as canal near the Rialto Bridge.  But whatever the source, it continued to spread as the day marched on.  Social media posts made that clear (not clear water).  As the day continued on, more pictures appeared showing the patch in ever more canals in Venice.  But the Italian fire and rescue agency is now working with local environmental officials to try to identify what the verdant substance is from water samples.  And I don’t blame them!  Who knows if this fluorescent green is actually dangerous for people and aquatic life?

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But everyone is a pundit, from social media to local politicians, positing just why and how this has happened.  Some think that it’s just an explosion of algae, which isn’t terribly crazy.  But local politicians like city councilman Andrea Pegoraro is already blaming climate activists.  Which is maybe not crazy at all, as they have been targeting a number of cultural sites in Italy in recent weeks.  But the climate group Ultima Generazione, which has done a number of invasive protest actions recently, claims it wasn’t them.

But in any event, there’s a bright, fluorescent green happening in Venice this week.  It’s probably harmless, except to Big Oil and any political parties they give money too.  If they need, I recommend a bourbon and a beer.  In Boston.  They could even have a Tea Party!

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