CANADA MILITARY INVESTS IN FRATERNITY TYPE GLASSES FOR DRUG TRAINING
Uh oh, Canada. We expect better out of you from south of the border. Well, south of your border, anyway. Some funny news coming out of Canada is making people wonder if Canada is more like the United States than anyone could have thought. Canada’s armed forces trains it’s future military leaders as well as they can. They have specific programs and focus on many important subjects. But does that include spending 170,000 dollars on “marijuana impairment goggles?” Yes, it’s as silly as you think. The goggles are to be part of a “marijuana simulation kit.” Goggles, kits and marijuana. Except, no actual marijuana. Just simulated “effects.” So much for responsible spending and the Canada Military. Let’s all go buy a bridge, in Canada. It will cost less!
POT GOGGLES PART OF ELITE COMMAND SUPERVISOR TRAINING
According to the Department of National Defence spokesman Dan Le Bouthillier, these kits will be a part of the Military Personnel Command’s supervisor training course. “This will help ensure that CAF members in leadership positions will be able to identify signs of, assist in detecting and provide guidance regarding, prohibited drug use.” Now that does sound like quite the investment, eh? I thought Canadians learned all about pot when they went to high school? You know, when you could spot all the stoners at a glance? Eh? But the brilliance of these training kits doesn’t stop there. There are more quotes! Officials told the following quote to the companies bidding on the contract to create these kits. Blah, blah, blah. It’s painfully funny.
170,000 DOLLARS BUYS YOU GAG GLASSES, NOT HIP TO BE SQUARE
“The purpose of the Marijuana Simulation Kits is to raise awareness of marijuana impairment, reduce risk of marijuana impairment, and promote healthy lifestyles within the Canadian Armed Forces. The marijuana impairment goggles, which is one of the several items included in the Marijuana Simulation Kit, allows users to experience first-hand, the deficits marijuana creates on the body.” The five year contract to make the kits is expected to be 170,000 dollars. But like all contracts, no one really knows what it will be until a contract is signed. This is clearly a square bureaucrat’s brain child. They don’t get around much.
REAL WEED MORE COST EFFECTIVE METHOD OF TRAINING
Of course, politics and timing make strange, awkward bedfellows all too often. Many expect the recreational use of marijuana will be legalized in Canada as soon as this summer. Recent statistics also show that Canadians pay less than $7 for a gram of weed. So one might suggest that there is a cheaper, more efficient way to train Canada’s armed forces. We call it smoking weed. Of course, one might also suggest they have already been trained in marijuana’s use, effects, etc. Just saying. Oh, Canada military. Denial is more than a river. It’s the river to munchies. So let’s get some fries with that shake.
CANADA NEEDS TO INTRODUCE MARIJUANA AWARENESS TO…. CANADIANS?
To make it all even funnier, Le Bouthiller said the Canadian military currently uses alcohol impairment goggles in its training of military leaders. Because…. Military leaders need…. Beer goggles? Oh, Canada. Maybe you should invest in a better investment metric, like dollars to donuts. But what else can you say? Everyone knows people smoke pot in Canada. Why would you need a training program? And why spend so much money teaching people that which they already know? It’s almost like teaching kids to eat candy. He, kids! Do you know how to spot candy? I’ll just have a brownie… Maybe make it two.