Name the worst thriller in the recent history? Paranoia. 
Unfortunately, the most interesting part of director Robert Luketic’s new unthrilling thriller, Paranoia, is its cast — and that’s when they’re off screen.
Bottle-blond bombshell Amber Heard, 27, is a rising star. She happens to be the real-life girlfriend of Johnny Depp, 50, whom she met during The Rum Diary. Heard, who will be on the cover of Elle magazine’s September 2013 issue, speaks openly about bisexuality and a sex toy prank she played on set with Paranoia co-star Liam Hemsworth, 23.
“We had this sex scene where [Hemsworth] is supposed to grab my arm passionately,” said Heard, “and I just substituted my arm for this big black dildo.”
Uh, okay.
Moving along, Hemsworth, known for the Hunger Games franchise, looks fantastic on screen when he’s wearing a custom-fitted suit, and even better in the multiple scenes where he’s nearly naked. Fully clothed, Hemsworth brought love interest Miley Cyrus to the L.A. premiere of Paranoia, where she looked radiant in a red, white, and black snake-print leather dress.
Hemsworth described the film: “It’s about corporate espionage and technology. You know, where we are with it these days and how as a society we really don’t know what it’s doing.”
The plot line may seem timely to young Hemsworth, but it’s nothing new. It’s predictable, and the script is contrived.
Adam Cassidy (Hemsworth) works an entry-level job as a programmer for a huge tech company. His father (Richard Dreyfuss) is a sick man whom Adam takes care of. This is way too obvious a ploy to garner sympathy for a shallow protagonist easily seduced by powerful tech billionaires Jock Goddard (Harrison Ford) and Nicolas Wyatt (Gary Oldman).
Wyatt gives Adam the task of spying on Goddard, the head of a behemoth rival tech firm. The catch? It’s an ethical dilemma for Adam. Aside from the creepy job of spying, Jock Goddard was Adam’s mentor.
Adam goes to work for, er, I mean spy on, Goddard and meets Emma (Amber Heard), his beautiful and feisty one-night stand. Emma is a snooty Yale grad, but they enjoy flirty banter and hot sex.
Ford and Oldman looked like they had fun playing their roles, but the dialogue is painfully wince-worthy, making these great actors seem laughably campy.
“You stood on my shoulders,” yells Oldman.
“And now I’m standing on your neck,” sneers Ford.
The cast includes Lucas Till, Embeth Davidtz, Julian McMahon and Josh Holloway. The screenplay, written by Jason Dean Hall and Barry Levy, is based on the novel by Joseph Finder. The film’s cinematography is good, and it’s fun to gaze at billionaires’ mansions and high-tech corporate offices.
To be fair, the film is no worse than most mindless and forgettable summer action flicks. So, if it’s a hot day and nothing else is playing, go for it. Cooling off in an air-conditioned theater is always enjoyable in the dog days of August.
Next up for Hemsworth is The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, which is in post-production and scheduled for release on November 22, 2013. Heard’s horizon includes Machete Kills, due out October 11, 2013, and Three Days to Kill, slated for February 2014. Gary Oldman has two films in post-production, Robocop, a sci-fi action movie set for release in February 2014, and Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, due out next summer. Harrison Ford stars next in Ender’s Game, opening November 1, 2013, and appears in a cameo for Anchorman: The Legend Continues, scheduled for December 20, 2013.
Paranoia opens Friday, August 16. Drama suspense thriller. Rated PG-13. 106 minutes.
