BAVARIAN MOUNTAINS HAS A NEW, RANDOM, BIGGER GIANT WOODEN PALLUS, NOW WITH TESTICLES
So there’s a lot of random news out there about random enigmas like the monoliths in the middle of nowhere that people find. But then they’re gone! While those little mysteries seem to have cleared up, there are bigger, better enigmas to talk about. Well, one here, anyway. And this time, we’re going all the way to the Bavarian mountains in Germany. The Greunten Mountain, to be precise. I think that means, “greenish.” But the greenish mountain of Bavaria offers some truly spectacular sights from the heights. But some things being bigger than others is exactly what we’re talking about here. We’re talking giant wood. So ok, that’s a double literal with a pun. Because there used to be a 7-foot tall phallus up there. But it’s gone. Now, there’s an even bigger phallus all the way up there. With giant balls, too.
NOW THE MOUNTAINS OF BAVARIAN WOOD COCKS? WHO DOES THIS AND, WHY!?!
So what’s the deal? Who the hell know? Someone thinks that a giant penis on top of a mountain, with its girth and length aiming at the sky, is something that has to be there. And maybe they’re right. I don’t know. But the adolescent voice that still bounces around in my skull totally approves of random huge wood aimed at the sky. For all I know, maybe this is an ancient practice that just came back into vogue. After all, phallus worship is a part of human history. It continues today. And no, I’m not just talking about Christopher Street. But in these Bavarian mountains, one good phallus wasn’t enough. They needed an even bigger one with accoutrement to be perfect.
I HAVE SEEN THE TOP OF THE BAVARIAN MOUNTAINS, AND IT IS GOOD FOR GIANT PHALLUS SELFIES
So here’s a thought. Someone actually carved these giant penis mountain cocks. Then, they hauled them all the way up there and situated them. That must have been some cross to bear. Ok, not a cross. A giant wooden cock. That’s a lot to have on your back, especially uphill. And the testes? It would take some serious balls to carry giant testes to the top of a mountain. But as Butthead once said, “I have seen the top of the mountain, and it is good.” Of course, that was a different pun entirely. Nary a phallus is sight.