67-Year-Old Takes Viagra, gets Member Stuck in Curtain Rings

Give a voice to the voiceless!

67-Year-Old Takes Viagra, 7 Curtain Rings Stuck on Business

67-YEAR-OLD TAKES VIAGRA, GETS BUSINESS TRAPPED

So I thought you couldn’t teach an old dog, new tricks?  Since Viagra’s invention, I think that old quote doesn’t really work anymore.  This brings us to Lanarkshire, Scotland.  That’s where a 67-year-old man needed to be rescued after getting his Viagra fueled member stuck in 7 curtain rings.  I said old dog, new tricks, right?  That is definitely a new trick, indeed.

FLYING SOLO, MAN EXPERIMENTED WITH CURTAIN RINGS AS SEX TOYS

The man took Viagra as a man is wont to do.  But, lacking a partner but not imagination, the man experimented with the curtain rings as sex toys.  When that little experiment didn’t go anywhere, the man realized that the situation had grown…. Dire.  Well, anyways, his situation continued to grow, but that left his situation trapped in the 7 curtain rings.

Read More:

25% of Women Masturbate Everyday: The Blot Exclusive Sex Survey

PARAMEDICS, FIREMEN CAN’T FREE WILLIE FROM VIAGRA POWERED TRAP

As the situation had gotten “out of hand,” so to speak, the man called an ambulance for help.  The trouble is, responding paramedics couldn’t get the man off, excuse me, they couldn’t get the rings off the man.  So then someone called the fire department as they have special cutting equipment (yikes!).  But they also couldn’t free the Willie.  Evidently all the responders couldn’t overcome the effects of the Viagra, which were hugely effective.  The blue pill was “still working,” keeping the man’s freedom out of reach.

ONE PILL TO RULE THEM ALL

“He was in a lot of distress as he couldn’t get them off,” one witness said.  Responders tried to reassure the older gentleman but the situation was really freaking him out.  His Johnson was still swelling and was starting to turn purple.  Everyone was concerned about what might happen.  So responders  whisked the 67-year-old to Wishaw General Hospital where the rings were removed with……………………. lubricants.  Go figure.

The Neighborhood Watch, ahem, neighbors witnessed the entire scene and said the man was in quite a bit of pain.  Fortunately, he suffered no lasting harm after the 7-Ring Circus came to a conclusion.  So take special note, people.  Don’t do ring around the rosie.

Give a voice to the voiceless!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Woman Marries Soulmate Pirate Ghost, Claims Better Sex

Woman Marries Soulmate Pirate Ghost, Claims Better Sex

NYPD Union Body Cam Footage Release Violates Cops Rights

NYPD Union: Body Cam Footage Release Violates Cops Rights