IF YOU FIND THE ONE TINDER GOES TIMBER
So you have found THE ONE. You have disabled your Tinder account and let Bumble buzz off into the sunset. But now that you are properly cuffed, how do you keep them fires burning? Relationship Experts around the country have offered 5 Tips for finding and keeping love.
WANT COMMON GROUND? WRITE YOUR COMMON DESIRES
- Find the Intersection
When making decisions together, try to find common ground. You each should write down exactly what you want. Let’s say you’re angling for a vacay in San Francisco to see the sights and hit up the cool shops and restaurants, while he wants a tropical getaway where he can veg out by the pool and sip drinks with umbrellas in the glass. Now that your desires are clearly laid out on paper, you can pick a place that will satisfy both your needs. A cool city, a little sun…how about Miami? —Paul Dobransky, MD, author of The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love
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ONE SANDWICH WITH TWO POSITIVES AND A NEGATIVE PLEASE
- Be More Positive Than Negative
There’s a more effective way to air grievances than to file an angry complaint or reopen your Tinder account. Sandwich your negative comment between two positives. If you want to complain about how he’s always late, for example, try something like “You know, I love that you’re so laid-back and easygoing, but it really bothers me when you show up so late. I’m sure you can still be the fun guy I adore and also be on time.”
FEEL, BE HEARD AND REPEAT
- Echo Each Other
When you and your man are having a serious relationship talk, it’s easy to get so caught up in how you want to respond that you’re not really listening to what’s being said. That’s why it’s important for both of you to repeat each other: so you know you’ve been heard and you feel understood.—Yvonne Thomas
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A GENUINE GUY HAS QUIRKS WHICH IS PERFECT
- Grow Your Tolerance
Neither of you is perfect, and the quirks you both have are here to stay. So rather than let those annoying traits work your last nerve, try to get in touch with the upside of those particular flaws, even if it’s not immediately recognizable. Instead of getting annoyed when he starts screaming at the TV, for example, remind yourself how much you love his passion. Or if his shyness with new people bugs you, think about how refreshing it is to be with a chill, genuine guy rather than a blowhard who needs to chat with everyone in the room.—Denver psychologist Jennifer Oikle, PhD, dating coach for Coupling Connection
BREAK THE DAILY GRIND TAKE A DAY TRIP
- Take a Time-Out
It’s important that you get a break from the daily grind and spend alone time as a couple — cell phones and the Internet are off-limits. It can be a fun day trip or just a few quiet hours to yourselves. The point is simply to steal away (even if you’re going nowhere) so you can reconnect, free of any distractions.
