George Zimmerman, the man responsible for the death of Trayvon Martin, has recently been training in the boxing ring. He has teamed up with boxing promoter Damon Feldman and they have decided to throw Zimmerman in the ring with a celebrity opponent for a pay-per-view event on March 1. Zimmerman has announced that he will be giving his cut of the proceeds to charity. I would probably do the same thing if I had a permanent target on my back.
Rappers DMX and The Game were among 15,000 applicants who put their names in the mix to fight the gun-happy amateur. The Game, who is a BEAST at 6’5” and 240, voiced that he wants to go for a knockout. DMX stated he would break all the rules of boxing to destroy the man and then piss all over his face. Zimmerman’s crew went with the slightly lesser of two scary dudes and selected DMX for a three-round battle.
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Even though the barking rapper is probably the appropriate opponent, there are other celebrities out there that sound more intriguing to watch. Here are the five I’d like to see fight Zimmerman:
5. Arnold Schwarzenegger
The former Governor of California has played some of the most ridiculous characters in Hollywood history. Post-politics, his outlook on self-deprecation clearly hasn’t shifted. He has new installments of the “Expendables” and “Terminator” franchises coming out in the near future. This past Super Bowl Sunday, we saw the former bodybuilder rocking a ping-pong look reminiscent of the film “Balls of Fury” for a Bud Light commercial. Even at an overripe 66 years of age, Schwarzenegger’s length and toughness would help him put up a decent fight.
4. Chris Brown
After 90 days of anger management to avoid doing jail time for violation of probation, the bad boy himself is probably looking for his next victim. Luckily for him, this sport actually encourages its competitors to be shirtless (something we’ve seen all too much of from a pissed-off Brown). My hope would be for it to be a tough fight with lots of hits to the face for both of these douchebags, and I’d give Zimmerman the win by judges’ decision.
3. Charlie Sheen
After losing the custody battle for his kids, Sheen has plenty of time to play on his days off from the set of “Anger Management.” Conjuring powers from the tiger blood surging through his veins, everyone’s favorite warlock/drug abuser would put on one hell of a show. I give Sheen the win by knockout in the third round. #winning
2. Kanye West
Yes, who wouldn’t want to see hip-hop’s self-proclaimed deity jump in the ring with someone equally as despicable? Zimmerman even stated he wanted to fight Kanye because he hurts innocent people. Really?!? Shut up, George. Kanye has had multiple physical altercations in the past year. Most recently, he unleashed on a kid who supposedly screamed racial epithets at both Kim Kardashian and himself. Because of that beating, the kid was able to collect a $250,000 payday. This time around, Kanye could beat the hell out of someone and MAKE money. I would love to see these two beat each other brain dead.
1. Justin Bieber With Lil Za (Tag Team)
The world’s biggest troublemaker happens to have the frame of a prepubescent girl. Bieber wouldn’t even stand a chance in the ring with Zimmerman, that little Napoleon. Throwing in Lil Za, Bieber’s felon friend, would allow the Biebs to preserve his lesbian looks as the two could then tag each other out. Eggs and sizzurp might be involved. I say Zimmerman knocks one out in the second and the other in the third.
Who or WHAT would you like to see in the ring with Zimmerman?
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