20 REASONS I KNOW I’M A HIPSTER AND I CAN’T HELP IT, #METOOHIPSTER
I know I’m a hipster and it SUCKS. I wish I could change, but I just can’t. The coconut water is too good.
I didn’t know what a hipster was until I moved to San Francisco. Then I learned. I saw them roaming the streets in beanies, expensive suits and hiking boots, and I thought, wow, I will NEVER become these people. I will NEVER be one of them. Boy, was I wrong. Here are just some of the ways that I have become a full-fledged hipster.
1. I don’t use shampoo or conditioner.
2. I wash my face with the same organic bar of soap I use on my body.
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3. I buy expensive coconut water and can’t even handle the taste of any other kind, except the water that literally comes out of an actual coconut.
4. I wear a Carhartt beanie
5. I have high-top leather vans
6. I wear collared shirts with sweaters
7. I drink almond milk exclusively
8. I don’t think five dollars is too much to pay for coffee
9. I only drink espresso
10. I only eat organic food
Do not Piss Off Bartenders with Annoying Orders
11. I refuse to drink anything with high-fructose corn syrup in it
12. But I will eat A LOT of just normal sugar
13. I don’t drink sodas but I almost exclusively drink sparkling water
14. I own a soda stream
15. I love new fancy drinks that are tasty but never too sweet
16. I have an expensive backpack because I like that it will last forever, it is waterproof AND it looks business-y
17. I work on my apple laptop on the subway
18. I don’t really listen to music anymore because all my travel time is taken up learning things from various podcasts
19. I wear my partner’s clothes sometimes. He identifies as a man and uses male pronouns and I identify as a woman and use female pronouns.
20. I say things like #19
Sorry…oh well…not sorry…………..never mind, still sorry. Still 20 Reasons.