Donald Trump must have thought that since so many other Republicans were running for president in 2016, he probably should, too. The billionaire real estate mogul and reality television star must have never had the rhetorical “if everyone else jumped off a bridge would you do it, too” talk with his parents, otherwise he likely would not have declared a campaign.
In his announcement speech at the Trump Tower on 57th Street in New York City, Trump came out on blast and criticized President Obama, China and Mexico. His campaign slogan, “Make America Great Again” draws on his personal background in building businesses, but unfortunately for Trump, while this country does need an injection to continue to recover from the Great Recession, his ideas and policies won’t fit the bill.
Trump is just another out-of-touch Republican. When Ronald Reagan foolishly used Bruce Springsteen’s sobering modern account of America “Born In The U.S.A.” during his 1984 reelection campaign, he entirely missed the point of the lyrics. Trump also entirely missed the point of Neil Young’s “Rockin’ In The Free World” when he used it to declare his candidacy. Accompanying his announcement, the song blared from speakers on a top floor of the exclusive building of luxury office suites and condominiums for the wealthy.
With zero actual political experience, Trump really has no shot to win the Republican party nomination. But his comic voice and cool-as-a-cucumber arrogance will surely provide additional humor to the already-crowded house of candidates.
After two decades of flirtation with running, there are things that will make Trump’s candidacy worthwhile to the public, No. 1 being it will be pretty funny because it’s more of a sideshow than an actual bid. At serious coming press conferences, where seasoned media members will be able to ask him actual questions that aren’t total softballs, Trump will have to have good answers about his weird, gravity-defying hair, past infidelities, complete lack of political experience, financial dealings — and why a man who got started in business with tremendous help from his rich dad ran companies that went bankrupt four times thinks he is the best person to lead this country.
Here, then, are the Top 10 questions I would like to ask “The Donald” if given the chance:
WHAT’S UP WITH YOUR HAIR?
IS THAT A WIG?
NO, SERIOUSLY IS IT? I HOPE NOT CAUSE IT’S NOT A GOOD ONE.
DO YOU COMB IT TO THE FRONT OR THE BACK?
OK, now onto the non-hair questions:
WHY DO YOU THINK YOU ARE THE PERSON TO LEAD THE COUNTRY WHEN YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY ZERO POLITICAL EXPERIENCE?
IF ELECTED PRESIDENT, WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO DEMOLISH THE WHITE HOUSE TO BUILD CONDOS AND A GOLF COURSE?
IS BEING AN ARROGANT RICH GUY THE ONLY THING THAT QUALIFIES YOU TO RUN FOR THE HIGHEST OFFICE IN THE COUNTRY?
WHY, AFTER SO MANY RUMORED AND MULLED RUNS, DID YOU DECIDE TO GO ACTUALLY BEGIN A CAMPAIGN THIS TIME?
IS YOUR BIGGEST COMPETITION OTHER CANDIDATES OR YOUR BIG, FAT MOUTH?
WILL “CELEBRITY APPRENTICE” CONTINUE DURING THE CAMPAIGN, AND CAN IT BE USED TO PICK A RUNNING MATE?
Noah Zuss is a reporter for TheBlot Magazine.