You Are My Boss, But Never Say I Have an Attitude Problem

 

Don't Tell Me I Have an Attitude Problem, Because I Don't

PEOPLE WHO TELL YOU YOU HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM CAN ESSENTIALLY GO FUCK THEMSELVES

Being told you have an attitude problem doesn’t mean anything. The people saying it to you think it means something, but it doesn’t. They think they are quietly, silently, gently, helping you realize something destructive about yourself. But they are really just urging you to lean in. To dig in your heels and make sure that every single other person you ever come into contact with also thinks that you give no shits about them or about anything.

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People tell me I have an attitude problem, and my response is: yeah, for you. Because the honest truth is that I have rewarding relationships with more people that I can count. I have close friends I can go to when I am in pain, when I feel joy, when I need help. I have a partner who cares for me deeply. I have professional relationships with all kinds of people that are healthy and well-functioning.

IF YOU SAY I HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM, THAT SAYS MORE ABOUT YOU

So when you tell me I have an attitude problem, I learn some things about you: 1. That you are intimidated by me; 2. That you don’t like having your opinions countered; 3. That you would care less about my “attitude” if I was a man; and 4. We just shouldn’t work together. Period.

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I don’t trust people who can work with everything. I don’t trust people who are friends with everyone. I don’t trust people who are liked by everyone. Those people are untrustworthy because they are clearly being untruthful in some way. There is no way those people don’t feel discontentment about something. There is no way those people don’t hate someone. So if they say otherwise, they must be lying.

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I trust people who complain. I trust people who struggle to find the right equilibrium at home, at work, in their lives in general. Because that is FUCKING NORMAL. It is normal to struggle and to not always get it right and to not be chipper all the time and to need help. It is FUCKING NORMAL to like some things and fucking hate others.

But you know what makes me really go off? Being told I have a fucking attitude problem.

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